No Strings Attached

Chapter Eleven

Louis texted Harry that night, feeling miserable and lost and all around beaten from an experience he didn’t know he could ever repeat. He knew that he shouldn’t have because they hadn’t texted in several weeks. But he was a little bit lonely and he didn’t feel like talking to Zayn, not after setting him up with that asshole of a date. 

wish you were here to bring me a donut, Louis texted when he realized he had skipped out on dessert to end the date that much sooner. 

His heart sunk a little when Harry didn’t respond as quickly as he usually did. An hour had passed and Louis tried to distract himself by watching some children’s program with Rosie, who really couldn’t be bothered because she was busy scribbling on scrap paper with a box of crayons Zayn had given her earlier that weekend. When that didn’t work, he tried cleaning the flat. But he remembered he hated cleaning, and so he remained in the living room while Rosie remained perfectly oblivious to her father’s sulking. Why was dating so needlessly difficult? 

Two hours after sending the text, Louis heard his phone buzz. He didn’t immediately check because he figured he had descended into such a state of anxiety that he imagined the whole thing. But when it vibrated a second time in reminder, he opened the message waiting for him. 

is that a euphemism? ;)

It was amazing how one little text message managed to lift his mood completely. Already, his date seemed a distant memory. 

of course not, you twat. just a bit hungry and had a shit day, that’s all.

i’m sorry :( want to talk about it? i can call you but only for a couple minutes

Of course Harry was busy right now. He shouldn’t have texted. 

no it’s okay. i’m going to sleep it off. just wanted to see how you were doing. go back to work!

:( alright. feel better x

Louis sighed into his pillow that night, contemplating a lifetime of being alone. Rosie would grow up healthily and well adjusted, though no thanks to him, and would eventually chase after some boy or some dream that would take her far away from him. Even Zayn would probably find happiness elsewhere, leaving Louis alone with an empty nest and a heart with so much love to give but no one to give it to. 

The thought of prolonged solitude terrified him, absolutely fucking terrified him, because he had never reached such a point before where all he wanted to do was lie in bed and stay there forever. He ran through his most recent memories, looking for the reasons that brought him here.

But all that filled his mind in that instance before sleep was the face of a boy grinning goofily at him, hair messy and eyes twinkling. 

***

It was a week away from a third, full month without Harry and, fittingly enough, Louis was midway through preparing for his third date with the same guy. 

“What do you think?” Louis said, stumbling out of the bathroom and into the living room where Rosie was half-drawing, half-watching television. “How does daddy look?” 

Rosie looked up from her spot on the floor, her nose scrunched up and her eyes carefully scanning her father head to toe and back again. Her purple crayon hung limply in one hand.

Finally, after some careful consideration, she gave him a toothy grin and a thumbs-up. “Good!” 

Louis sighed in relief, like Rosie’s input was the be-all and end-all of dating fashion advice; she could have seen him in a striped shirt, polka-dotted tie and plaid pants and approved it without hesitation. He ran back to the bathroom where he stood before the mirror and spent an inordinate amount of time playing with his hair before he perfected the balance between unkempt and presentable.