A/n - this one shot is based slightly off 13 Reasons Why.
Warning: Suicide and slight graphic details include
"Take me back to the day we met."
Mike would do anything to bring the first day of third grade back. The day he had become friends with Will Byers. A person that he should have protected when he had the chance. The one person he should have told how he felt.
Mike had became aware of the hardships that Will was going through since they began in fifth grade. Troy and James had made it a living hell for Mike's friend group. However they had especially difficult for poor Will. There wasn't any other name they could have said, having said so many already. The ones that seemed to strike down Will the most were the ones including "queer, Fag" and such. Mike had never believed the words, for he was told his whole life to stay away from people as such. Mike didn't want to believe that Will was truly what the bullies had called him. He didn't wanna have to stay away from Will. He never did anything to help him. He should have.
As time went by, Mike grew to realize these words were true. Mike confirmed it himself when Will had told him his secret in the seventh grade. Not long before Will went missing. Taken away from the life he grew to know for so long. At this point, Mike had completely forgotten that Will was gay. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that the one thing Mike and his friends needed to do were bring Will back to safety. Mike enjoyed Will's presence. Sure, being his best friend had a part in it, but there was little something more he felt that he was sure was more than Dustin and Lucas felt. Mike liked Will. He didn't just want him back, he needed him back. However he promised himself that he'd never let Will know how he felt. Mike was a good kid, and liking other boys was just not something he was raised to live by. Sure enough, a young lady, Eleven, appeared the day after Will disappeared. It was like a sign telling him he didn't need Will, but he didn't want to believe it. But it was right. Was it right? He liked Eleven. He liked Will more, but Eleven was obviously a better choice because she was girl.
A month later, after Will was saved, things had seemed to have returned back to normal, except for that Eleven wasn't here. Maybe it wasn't a sign after all, but in truth he did miss her a lot. Will seemed a lot more down in the dumbs. More than he was before he went missing. Mike needed to do something, but he was afraid his feelings would grow for him. He couldn't afford that, especially now that Eleven was gone. Some friend Mike had been all this time. Maybe if he had done something different, and stayed true to himself, things might've been different.
The boys all worked together to get their friend back to them, and once Eleven had returned, Mike had begun to spend a lot more time with her. Will stayed at home a lot more now that El was home. Their friend group was falling apart. Mike longed for Will's presence again, and wished they'd spend more time together. As friends. Right?
As the years went by, the teasing and such from Troy and James only grew, and often Will went home with bruises and blisters. Maybe it because he was more vulnerable and more alone most of the time. Sometimes Will's hopes would be lifted when Mike would stick up for him now and then, but as soon as the bullies had left him alone, he'd link his hands with Eleven's again and walk off.
Will began to feel a little more like himself when Mike and Will had been paired up by the teacher for a science project. Maybe this would bring them close again, and be best friends again. Will could only hope. Mike kept the fun topics to talk about aside, and got straight to work. Every time Mike came over, he saw Will's face sadden as Mike changed the topic when Will tried to talk about the newest movies or video games. Mike felt the grip around his heart grow tighter and tighter each time he did so. God, he hated seeing Will upset, but he couldn't let his feelings for his friend slip through his tight grasp, and escape the cage it was safely kept in. Will couldn't know, and neither could anyone else. After the project was over, they stayed together for a while, and Mike had allowed himself to be friend towards Will. It couldn't be so bad. They were friends, and Will obviously felt alone. He was tired of standing off to the side and doing nothing to make him feel a little better, but Mike felt as if there was only so little he could do.
But again, just like before, they began to drift apart again. Mike was noticing the stares from everyone during the halls. He had grown so close to Will that he was now wrapping his arm around Will in a friendly way, or at least that's what he thought it was. Deep down he knew it was definitely something else. Mike let the states get to him, and his good reputation that he wanted to keep got the better of him. He stopped hanging out with Will. Will was alone again. The bullying was worse than before. It didn't help that his father was coming down to Hawkins a lot more often, hurting will, both physically and mentally.
The one thing that lit up Will's world for just a few moments was the kiss. Mike came over, telling Will everything. Mike thought Will deserved to know why Mike wasn't around him anymore. It hurt Will to know that Mike would rather keep a good reputation than stay with someone he'd known for so long. For someone he apparently loved. It hurt Mike too, and he hated himself for it, but his fear took over a majority of his thoughts. And then they kissed. Mike let his fears ease away for a few moments to let his love shine through. It was a long kiss, one that Will would cherish for the rest of his life. After that, Mike left, telling him things would never work out. It couldn't be this way.
It hurt Will.
If being gay was a sin like everyone was saying, what was the point of living? If Mike was never going to give in with his love for Will what was the point of living. If Will was just going to be bullied his whole life and never see any happiness his whole life because of who he was, there was no point.
The day after the kiss, will put on an old pair of clothes, wrote out a note to everyone he loved and placed it on the the rim of the sink. He filled the bathtub, and grab some razors he'd bought the day before the kiss. He sobbed violently. Luckily he was home alone. No one would be there to hear him. Or save him. He didn't want to be saved. He wanted to be done. He wanted to sleep. Forever. After a few minutes of sobbing, what seemed like to him, so much that it could fill the tub, he brought the razor to his arm, and dragged it across his tender, pale skin. He let out a loud, painful whimper, and shakily brought the razor to his other hand, cutting his other arm. He dropped the razor weakly, and it sunk to the bottom of the red tainted water. He let his head drop back as his heavy breathing slowed down, and his vision darkened to nothing. He was gone.
Finally.
Mike sobbed for days on end. He hated himself. He should have done something to save him. He read the note over and over again, to try and recall his sweet voice in his mind. He wanted to hear him one more time. He should have done something. He shouldn't have been so stupid. Mike lived on the rest of life doing God knows what, but one thing is for sure. The memory of Will Byers, the one it he truly loved, haunted him, pained him. He'd often cry into his partners chest, telling them that his "best friend" was dead, and how he wished he could bring him back. How he meant so much to him. Mike could cry all the tears he had in him, but he knew he could never bring him back. He should have done something.
