Becoming Porcelain

Chapter 53- Targaryen

+

RHAEGAR'S POV

Barristan watched as I read the letter he had handed me, I could see the worry etched on his face. I knew what this meant, this could only mean one thing... Battle.

"How did he find me?" I asked and looked to my old friend.

"The girl who worked for him." He replied and quickly looked to his men, who weren't paying any attention at all. He must've known that Orla had been killed, he had referred to her as if she was gone.

I sighed in annoyance and quickly scrunched the letter up in my hand. My Father had found me, and he wanted death.

"How can I tell her this?" I said. Barristan was my best friend since I had met him as a boy, he was always so wise and helped me in complicated things. But, this was beyond his help.

"Tell her you need to." Barristan let out a sigh, just like my many. He fought for my Father, but only because he had to.

"I can't tell her that I will fight in a battle on the opposite side to her family. It would be wrong, so wrong." I could see the men starting to catch on to my horrible state. I was stressed, beyond stressed and I couldn't help but show it.

"You need to fight for the throne, but not for your Father, for yourself." My head snapped toward Barristan at his words and I must've looked like some sort of shocked deer because he began to laugh. "Don't look so shocked, it's what you've always wanted."

"No, it really isn't." I snapped and grabbed my wine, emptying it quickly.

"You told me, many times that you would have a peaceful rule. Now where has that gone?"

He was right, I had grown up wanting to rule. It was what I always wanted, but now things had changed. I had Lyanna, the love of my life, who was expecting a child. I had a different life now, the life I truly wanted.

"I have Lyanna now." I said.

"What will you do when Robert Baratheon becomes king and learns the truth of what has gone on here? When he comes with an army to slaughter you, Lyanna and the babe she carries. He'll kill you all."

Barristans words unsettled me, but I couldn't imagine Robert killing Lyanna and all she holds dear. He loves her, just like I love her.

"How do you know he'll win?" I asked. My Father was crazy yes, but he was also ruthless.

"The Baratheon forces hold nearly all the seven kingdoms. People rally behind them, not your Father. But I believe the people will rally behind you." Barristan looked at me with a smirk on his face. He truly did believe in the Targaryen rule, but my belief was slowly fading. Maybe Robert should have the throne, he'd do a better job than my Father, any man would.

"If I fight for my Father I'm just as bad as him." I could tell Barristan was getting annoyed with my denial, he kept rubbing his head and fidgeting. But the realm needed this.

"If you don't fight for your Father he'll send the army here. He's afraid of you." Barristan was now pleading for me to fight beside him, fight for what was rightfully mine.

"If he wanted me and my blood dead so much he would've killed Elia and the children by now. He's no threat, he is merely just a mad man who's paranoid." My cup of wine was now empty, but I didn't get another one. I had to be sober to think about this.

"Aerys keeps them locked up in the red keep. I heard he threatens them with poison nearly every day." My heart instantly ached at this. The children didn't deserve that, Aegons life had barely even begun. The last time I saw him was when he was a new born, he must be over one by now.

"Have you spoken with her?" I asked.

"I talked to her before I left. She's heart broken Rhaegar. The first thing Rhaenys asked me was if her Father would be arriving home shortly." The words pained me, but there was no way I could go there. Elia hated me, yet she pines for me, like I did Lyanna. "Does Lyanna know?"

"Does Lyanna know what?"

"That Elia misses you." I let out a sigh at his words and shook my head. "What did you tell her?"

"That she hates me and would never have me back. Very close to the truth." I replied.

"Elia loves you, although she doesn't show it she really does. Maybe you should fight Rhaegar and-" I quickly cut him off with a shake of my head.

"I don't like to fight." I said bluntly and looked away from his harsh gaze.

"But we fight when we need to. Destroy the rebellion and come home to Elia." Barristan pleaded.

"I can never go back to her. I could never give up on Lyanna like that, I love her too much." I whispered the last sentence. I didn't want the men to hear, I didn't want people knowing that she was indeed my weakness.

"Make her your queen then. Give the she wolf the life you think she deserves. If she is queen nothing can come between you two."

Barristans words shocked me, but they also swayed me onto his side. If I had the throne, without a doubt I would make Lyanna my queen, she would be safe and she would be happy. I would annul my marriage with Elia and make our child the heir. We would rule the seven kingdoms in peace, with a great alliance to the north. It would be the perfect rule.
My heart began to pick up a pace at the thought and I poured myself more wine.

"You could defeat the rebellion and defeat your Father all at once." Barristan said, his words echoing in my head. "But Rhaegar, either way you have to fight. Your Father will come here and slaughter you all, I've heard him say it myself."

"If I fight, I fight for Lyanna." I said and then stood to my feet, the men quickly copying my actions.

"Targaryen!" I said and lifted my cup.

"Targaryen!" The men cheered back and a smile managed to creep up onto my face.

But, many thoughts ran through my mind, unsettling me with each second that went by. I knew Lyanna would not have me go to battle, but there was no way out of it. If I was to fight, I was fighting to destroy my Father. I didn't want to go against Lyanna's own men, that was what Robert Baratheon wanted. War was looming, it had always been looming whilst my Father lived. My Father wanted me to fight for him, and I would let him think that I was. I knew what I was going to do, and so did the Targaryen men.