Demi's POV :
I told here everything I'm kinda scared now I have all these thoughts in my head 'should I regret it ?' 'did I do the right thing?' then she spoke her voice was husky as if she was about to burst into tears " I can't believe it ..........!" she sounded shocked "what can't you believe" I replied quickly wanting an answer "that .... that ..... " She says with tears in her eyes trying I figure out how to put it into words " your cuts are because you have been through sooo much that you feel your to blame but ....... but your not in no way is any of this your fault ...... !" As she was saying this she had tears falling down her face this made me cry even more.
I can't believe how strong she actually is she has been through so much yet still has the courage to keep going yeah she may cut but compared to what she has been through I don't blame her I mean like I haven't been thought half of what she has I have have considered suicide like daily and some how she hasn't I mean I know I have a very dark head and every thing but I mean like I don't know there is something about her which tells me she is going to be sooo strong and knows how to over come everything no matter how long it may take her.
After a little while of crying we decided to listen to a but of music and by any chance I heard Kelly Clarkson then I suddenly spoke " OMG you like Kelly too?!?! " she seemed kinda shocked as she hadn't had many hits I don't even think she had one in the charts yet " yes.... hold on wait ..... you like Kelly too ?!?! " it was amazing how we went all that different I mean like we understood each other in ways others didn't it was nice to have someone who knew so much about me and how I though life was like.
Alexia left about 10 minutes ago I hate it when people leave because this is when my demons become visage again I hate it no matter how hard I try to drown them they know how to float. as I sit on my bed thoughts start running through my head about everything I knew how it worked it was a routine I was used to and one that I couldn't get out of either. once the thoughts started they didn't stop they were mainly about how useless I was and how I wasn't needed here , the thing is I heard t Hesse thoughts so often that I knew they were now true that I was fat, that I was hated by everyone , that no one liked me they all thought I was ugly and this list went on and on and was also repeated over and over and over by the end of this the tears were uncontrollable. then the worst part of the routine happened which gave me the most relief but the most pain and regret, I walked to my sock draw right under all of them at the very back was my favourite blade that was my best friend that my life depended on but what could also potentially be my death....
I then ran it over my right wrist which was already scared and had cuts then I saw the red liquid which made me gain this weird smile of release then I went deeper and deeper as the tears were running down my face as the cold blade ran through the deepened cut then i grabbed the roll of tissue I had in my room and held it to make the bleeding slow down this was one of my deepest cuts ever then it was finally stopping so I made more but they were still over the old ones which made them re-open this then made my wrist bleed more and then was uncontrollable so I covers it with bandages from my medical box that I have hidden in my room then blacked out ' I ...... I ...... didn't ....... mean ....... for ..... this .... to ....... happen ' this was my final thought .......... !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ sorry it has taken me ages to update please vote and comment for the next chapter I would like 2 comments and 2 votes xxxxx love kimmie the author xxxxxxx
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That's Where It All StartedFanfiction
A story of a girl named alexia and she shears her story do how she found strength through music and became friends with her idol the one and only DEMI LOVATO ~~~ includes selfharm and eating dissorders along with other issues ~~~~~~~~