A Grim Fairy Tale (A Noam Dar Fanfic)

Girls' Night

"Wait, wait, wait!" Carly, my roommate slid into the bathroom.  "Are you actually coming out tonight?!"

"No.  You know I don't like socializing outside of work."  I peeked out at her from behind the flimsy shower curtain, shampoo running dangerously close to my eyes.

"Then why are you showering?  Again."  She checked her perfect makeup in the mirror, long blonde extensions falling gracefully down her back.  She'd been here longer than me and had gotten the full WWE glam squad makeover.

"Because I'm a greasy greasy woman Carls."  

"Please Faryn?"  She pouted perfect pink lips.  "Charlie, Kathy, and Renee are coming.  You could network! Or ask questions!"

      Carly and I were in training at the WWE performance center to be backstage interviewers or ring announcers (whichever one we didn't totally suck at)  and those three women, especially Renee, were the authority on what we wanted to do.  Renee was actually a bit of an idol for me.  She's the only one that managed to take her pretty girl with a microphone position and turn it into a respectable career where she got to be herself and not something fake or watered down.  I hoped to be able to do the same for myself.  It was a miracle that I was even given this opportunity:  I'm not exactly the stick skinny girl people are accustomed to seeing.  I'm just a bit chubby, with big boobs and shoulder length red hair.  I didn't look the part, and I still wasn't sure I could act the part, but I studied communications in college and knew wrestling like none other.  I hoped that I could make something surprisingly fabulous happen.

"Fine, I'll go.  But just this once."  I rinsed my hair and giggled to myself as I heard her squeak happily and run to our closet, no doubt to plan my outfit.

      I dried off and did my hair and makeup the best that I could.  Back home, I was considered something of a makeup expert, but here I felt like a third grader that got into her mother's Mary Kay.  Everyone was airbrushed fake tanned perfection.  Ignoring the sexy librarian inspired outfit that was laid out nicely on my purple bedspread, I poured myself into my favourite cherry print pinup dress.  With a red ribbon tied in my hair, I was ready to go; confident that I looked at least sort of cute.

      The cab ride to the bar was mostly Carly gushing over her boyfriend and the new shoes he'd bought for her.  Don't get me wrong, she was a sweet girl, but half the time I didn't listen to a thing she was saying.   We just didn't have that much in common.  She wore boots, I wore sneakers.  She drank pumpkin spice lattes, I drank frozen hot chocolates.  She listened to hip hop, I listened to rock... You get the picture.

      The bar was packed with strangers awkwardly rubbing against each other, bad strobe lighting, and EDM.  I wanted out as soon as I got in.  Little dive bars with bad karaoke were my scene.  This made me feel like I was having a seizure while on acid (don't do drugs kids).  Regardless, I had promised, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad.  It couldn't hurt to make a few friends in this foreign land of Florida.  

      Two brunettes and a blonde; Charlie, Kathy, and Renee... or was it Kathy, Charlie, and Renee?  The two looked alike to me... were sitting at a table in a dimly lit corner and waved us over.  Carly sauntered, making a few men stare as she went by.  I followed then flopped into a seat and said my polite hellos before we all ordered our drinks.  I went with a cider just to keep things simple.  I didn't plan on getting too drunk.  Things were going well until the conversation turned to men (gee, thanks Carly) and I was kind of left out.  

"What about you Fairy?"  Carly nudged, "Any Crushes we should know about?"

"Oh, none that matter."  I half lied.  Our industry was bursting at the seams with attractive people.  "All the good ones are taken."  And by that I meant taken by the women sitting across the table from me.

"That's not true! C'mon.  There's gotta be someone." Renee teased.

"No... I mean, there's some cuties for sure, but none worth the effort of a relationship."

"Who said anything about a relationship?  Have a little fun!"  Charlie said, Bloody Mary in hand.  "When you get called up, it's a lot of lonely nights on the road."

      I could feel myself blushing.  Of course I had a crush on someone.  I crushed hard too.  It was one of my tragic flaws that I was trying desperately to correct.  Besides, I didn't want people to know.  I was trying to be professional.  It was easy for the others.  They fit the mold of perfect and personable that I didn't.  Social anxiety made getting out of bed to do my job sometimes really difficult.  I didn't need an added layer to that.

"We'll get it out of you."  Kathy decided and waved more drinks our way.  "Let's play Fuck Marry Kill."

"Oh, why the hell not?"  I groaned and took the shots that were placed in front of me.  I was already here.  They wanted me here.   Maybe I could make some friends.  It's just a game, and it actually turned out pretty fun hearing the other girls' reasons behind their choices.  Fun until it was my turn.

"Alright Faryn..."  Renee rubbed her hands together, thinking of a good set of three for me.  "Colby, Noam, and Drew."

"Galloway or Gulak?"  I asked, pretending that the Drew she had in mind would change my answer.  It wouldn't.

"Galloway!" Carly decided a little bit too enthusiastically.

"Fuck, marry, kill..."  I thought out loud and took another shot.  "Fuck Colby, because who hasn't?  I may as well join the club."  They all laughed, maybe they actually liked me.  Maybe they thought I was funny and weren't just faking it out of politeness.  "Kill Drew.  He's pretty but I just can't... And marry Noam because he's the most perfect man I've ever met."

      It got silent and I could hear my heart beating in my ears.  They stared at me, slowly realizing that they'd gotten it out of me.  I had a massive crush on Noam Dar.  

"Noam Dar is the most perfect man you've ever met?"  Charlie choked, laughing.

"Someones got a crush!" Kathy smiled.

"Let's set them up!" Carly decided as I slid down in my seat.

"No, c'mon guys, let her go."  Renee, the sweetheart that she was, took pity on me.

"Yeah guys, let me go."  I smiled some, trying to hide my extreme awkwardness.

"If she really wants him, she has to get with someone else first."

"What?! NO!"  I was betrayed.

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      Early Monday morning, I went to the performance center to memorize superstar stats.  They were trying me out as an announcer in a week and I had to be on point.  I rolled into the ring then rolled out.  That's not how announcers behaved themselves.  I had to be a lady.  I tried walking to the ring.  Too manly.  I tried sexy  walking to the ring.  Too slutty.  Six or seven walks later, I slipped through the ropes and spoke into my water bottle microphone in the well enunciated voice that I'd been practicing for years.

"The following contest is a no disqualification match and it is for the cruiserweight championship! Introducing first, from Ayr Scotland, weighing in at 178 pounds, the Scottish Supernova, NOAM DAR!"

      I looked to where the ramp would have been and oh god... he heard me!  Noam smirked and faked his entrance, kissing his wrist and hopping into the ring, laughing.

"Whit ar ye doin' hen?"

"Practicing... how long have you been watching me?"

"Long enaw.  Ah liked th' second walk the best... the sexy one."  He bit his lip and I couldn't take my eyes off of his mouth.  "So who's mah opponent?"

I hadn't thought that far ahead, but life is an improv master class, so I smirked and announced into my bottle.

"And his opponent, from Tehran, Iran, weighing in at 190 pounds.  He is the cruiserweight champion, Ariya Daivari!"

"Daivari?"

"What? He's cute."  That wasn't a total lie.  Noam took my bottle, drinking half of it before giving it back.

"Ye should ask him oot."