Screw Loose

losing it

Im losing my charm,charisma, and wisdom im losing my mind from inside and out i had everything that i took for granite and now i losed it.
Im a walking pile of shit whats even worst is i try to help other but i cant even help myslef trying to myself wasn't help cutting myself is to painful to go on.
Columbia hospital adhd and depression my counselors didnt know how to help me nomore so they leave like my passion for this fucking world .
I'm an open vessel one that can never be close i make out myself to be man of wonders the selfless bastard who everyone i geuss care and appreciate now im not even buying my own bullshit.
I vent in and vent out i take the last six of my depressant pills and drank myself into a coma if i was lucky enough my the pills and the alcohol will settle and put me to sleep for good tricky part about death they choose when its time for me.
So when,where,and why when will my death occurs,where it may occur, and WHY ARE YOU KEEPING ME ALIVE you son of a bitch if your real why.
Im losing it i have friends that really really and i mean really dont know how i feel if i told them i dont know how they may handle my insanity.
They may just leave fuck it if i care anymore living in this shit hole where mostly everyone doubt you and your existence.
To many problems froma problem child im the problem and i need to be exterminated immediately.
Im loaing all hope for this place and myself my will my be strong but it'll end soon maybe soon then you or i think.
now leave me the fuck alone and let me perish already your games my games aint fun nomore