"Hey dude, I know it's kinda outdated and all, cause we have CDs and stuff but I made you a mixtape"
"Oh... thank you, gerard" I really didn't know how to feel at that point. It was a nice gesture and all but my boyfriend is such a jealous type. He didn't really want me being friends with Gerard at all.
I accepted the tape which had a black ribbon tied around it. It was really cute but I know for a fact Jake would be not o- fucking -kay with it. I shoved it in my jacket pocket and continued walking with him until we reached my apartment.
"Thanks for walking me home, gee. And thanks again for the mixtape. You really didn't have to go through all the trouble to-"
"Trust me. It's fine. You'll love it I know"
"Thanks"
We parted ways, he continued down the street and I continued up the stairs of my building until I got to the third floor. Apartment 314 was mine. I began to turn my key as the door was opened from the inside. Jake was waiting for me.
He put his arms around me. It's only been a few hours since I saw him last but he was a really clingy kind of boy. Not that I'm not clingy. He's just. . . More clingy I guess you could say.
"What's poking me from your pocket?" He pulled out the mixtape. "What's this?"
"It's nothing, really. Just a small gift from Ger-"
"Oh boy. Not this kid again. Really Frank?? Don't you remember what I said about him?"
"He's my friend, you have no reason to be jealous"
"No reason?? What if you just leave me one day for him?? I don't want to live without you. I can't."
The thing about Jake is that he tends to cause arguments and then be all clingy and try to play the victim. The first time, second time, and maybe even third time are cute but after a while, I got sick of it and I was sure to tell him that.
"Jake, I think you should sit down for this. . . I should be able to have friends just like you should. It's not really fair to me that you control who I talk to just because you're jealous. I love you but I think we should go our separate ways. Maybe it's just not meant to be right now. . ."
He didn't say anything for at least 10 minutes. He dropped the mixtape onto our faded coffee table, went into our room, grabbed some clothes and shoved them in a black backpack.
"I'll have my things out by the morning"
The door slammed and there I sat, on my lonely, wrinkly couch. Being without Jake gave me time to think, though. And that's what I did, until I finally fell asleep.
•••
It took me a minute to realize I was awake. I was debating on whether I should call Gee or not. I stared at the phone for what felt like twenty minutes when, in reality it must have been less than five. I reached for it and I held it in my hands before finally gathering enough courage to dial his number (yes, I just so happen to have it memorized). It rang twice until I heard his voice.
"Frank?? What's up?? Is everything okay? You usually only call me if something's not okay".
Honestly I love when he worries about me.
"I. . . Uh. . . Broke up with Jake today"
"Is everything alright? Do you need me to come over??"
I know I should have said yes but I was stupid and I didn't. That would have made everything better. He knows what cheers me up better than anyone else.
"Umm. . . No thanks, I should be okay"
"Frank. . . Listen to the mixtape"
I heard the dial tone, indicating that he had hung up. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life at this point. I put down the phone and rubbed my eyes. It was only seven pm and I was exhausted. I went to the kitchen to see what could possibly help me combat these feelings. I opened it up and, oh goodie, found a pint of chocolate ice cream and an old bottle of something. Straight liquor. Perfect.
And there I sat, sad and lonely on my kitchen floor, while I thought I was drinking my emotions away, I was only amplifying them.
The clock read 2:33 am and boy was I feeling like shit. I went to get up to go to the bathroom but of course before I could take two steps, I threw up all down myself. Gross. I took off my shirt first, tossing it onto my kitchen floor. Undoing my belt, I slid it out of each loop and tossed it with my shirt. After removing my pants, I walked over to my room, flopping onto the bed that once held a man that I loved. Past tense.
Next thing I knew, it was already 11 am. I opened my eyes and gave them a good rubbing, even though it's bad for your skin or whatever. Jake's things were gone and his key was on the vanity. Closing my eyes again, I rolled over in bed and felt something warm. A person? I felt with my hand because I was too lazy to see. It was too bright to have my eyes open at this point. I felt an arm, a wrist, a hand?
"Did you listen to the mixtape?"
My head was pounding and the last thing I needed was Gerard nagging me to listen to that stupid tape.
"Gee? How the hell did you get into my apartment?"
"I came by coincidentally when Jake was getting the rest of his things. He let me in."
"I feel like shit, gee"
"You look like it too"
"Boy, thanks"
"Sorry. . . I guess I don't really have much of a way with words. And I guess you didn't listen to the mixtape"
"I just wanna sleep. . . Please just shut up" I felt so badly for snapping at him but I really felt so shitty after what had happened last night.
"Okay then. . . If that's what you really want"
