Changed For The Worst

Quinntine Dawn Gosiaco

"Let's break up."

Halos tumigil ang mundo ko ng sabihin sa akin ito ni austin. Miski ang paghinga ko kusang natigil.

"I need to breathe life, quinntine. And i can't do that when you're around. I'm sorry but i want to end all of this...."

Words hurt like knives. I can't believe that's still an understatement. Tila mas matalim pa sa kutsilyo ang bawat salitang lumalabas sa bibig nya.

"... I want you out of my life. I want you gone."

I tried so hard to blink back my tears but it's all futile attempt. Tumulo ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan.

Kumuha sya ng panyo sa bulsa nya at ibinigay sakin.

"Wipe your tears because starting from now, i won't." Sabi nya pa at nagsimulang maglakad palayo sakin.

I grabbed him by his wrist.

"W-why?"

I wanted to shout. To ask him what's wrong. Pero hindi ko kayang i-verbalize lahat ng gusto kong sabihin. Tila napako lahat ng mga nais kong sabihin sa katagang 'bakit'.

"Why? You're asking me why?" He said and let out a mocking laugh as if i said something funny. "Can't you see quinntine? Nakakapagod ka. You're so damn nice na nakakasawa na. Ni-hindi mo kayang magalit kahit nahuli mo akong may babae hundred of times. What the hell? Normal ka pa ba? I never saw you mad. Not even a single time. You can't even go to bars and clubs kasi natatakot ka sa mga 'probabilities' sa utak mo. Sobrang duwag mo and i can't really be with someone who's fucking scared all of her life. Yes sobrang ganda mo pero i can't handle a face like that kung sa likod nun ang pagkaka-kulong ko sa boring mong buhay. I'm an ass, i know, that's why i'm sorry. Let's just break up." Mahabang litanya nya at sa bawat segundong lumilipas mas nadudurog ang puso ko.

"But you l-love me?" I tried making him stay, again.

"I loved you."

Loved. Past tense. Wow.

Ni wala akong makitang guilt or sorrow sa mga mata nya. Na parang sinasabi nya lang sakin na wala lang sa kanya lahat ng ito. I can see deep within this dark orbs. It's screaming freedom. Freedom away from me.

Tinanggal nya ang pagkakahawak ko sa kanya at nagsimulang maglakad palayo sa kin. Paalis sa buhay ko.

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