She is falling. Well, not falling as much as she is plummeting lower and lower down into the confusion that is her life.
But she doesn't mind.
Well, there isn't much that can be done about it either way. She was meant to be this way, right? She was meant to have all of this weight on her shoulders and not have anyone try to help her carry the load, right?
She doesn't want to be another face in the 5:00 news. She doesn't want to be another one of those "emo kids". The people closest to her would look down on her for doing so, and quite frankly she would look down on herself. So she laughs. She jokes. One day, though, she knows it will not be a joke.
She can't fall forever, eventually she has to hit the bottom. She hopes soon, because she has so much pain behind her eyes that she is surprised nobody has noticed. The things she has seen are almost unfathomable to the normal human mind of her age. She wants someone to dig deep and try to know her secrets. She wants someone to love her the way she loves them. She wasn't a to feel needed, not rejected.
The smallest things make her think for days. She lies awake at night wondering why she is this way. Is something wrong with her? She doesn't know how to tell people, she can't cry for help. She is exhausted.
She does have a light to guide her through the darkness, but that is for another time.
To be continued
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