The Unfaithful Wife

5. Still

"Oo nga, time na rin naman. Four na si Ri diba?"

"Yeah. Kayo ba? Mag-seven na si Zim diba?" Napalis ang ngiti sa mga labi ko.

Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya at tumingin na lang sa baso ko. I started playing with it dahil hindi ko naman alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko sa kaniya. I heard her sigh at naramdaman ko rin ang paghawak niya sa wrist ko.

"Are you still-" I didn't let her finish.

Tumingin ako sa mga mata niya bago nagsalita. "Yeah. I am. Still." Lumunok ako at umiwas ng tingin sa kaniya.

"It's really hard to forget you know. Even if you want to, kung nandiyan naman yung mga patunay at nagpapaalala sa nakaraan mo na nakapaligid sayo at kinakalabit kalabit ka. Na kahit anong talikod mo, still, they find a way to get into you. To mess up with you." I stopped to look at my son.

"No matter how much I try, ang hirap kumawala sa higpit ng yakap ng nakaraan ko sa akin, Aiah."

"Bes," Alo niya na tinugon ko naman ng isang ngiti.

"Babe," Lumingon siya sa pinanggalingan ng boses habang ako naman ay uminom sa baso ko.

"O, tapos na kayo mag-billiards?"

"Oo. We made sandwiches, paahunin mo na muna yung mga bata."

"Mahal," Naramdaman ko ang paghawak sa akin ni Chris kaya tumayo ako at humarap sa kanila.

"Ako na magpapaahon sa kanila." Presinta ko.

I didn't let them answer at tumalikod na para lumakad papunta sa mga anak namin.

...

"Zim, umahon muna kayo ni Rijan, onong and daddy prepared sandwiches for you." Kinuha ko ang mga towel nila sa gilid bago lumapit sa kanila.

"Come on, Rijan. We don't want to miss our dad's made with love sandwiches!"

As I watch my son interact with Rijan, a boy who can pass as his baby brother, it made my heart thump in happiness. Ang saya pala makita pag yung anak mo nakikita mo kung paano mag-alaga ng mas bata sa kaniya; I don't really know pero there's something in it that tickles my insides and makes my heart flutter.

Una kong pinunasan at binalutan ng towel si Rijan. Nagtatatakbo naman agad ito papalapit kila Aiah matapos ko gawin iyon kaya bumaling na ako sa anak kong nagpupunas na rin ng sarili niya.

"C'mon, let mommy do it for you." Sabi ko bago kinuha ang towel sa kaniya.

We were in a complete silence as I do it for him, not until he cleared his throat and called me.

"Mommy," I hummed as a response to him.

While I was wrapping the towel across his shoulder, he was busy fiddling with his fingers.

"I was just wondering... when will I have a baby sibling?" Napatigil ako saglit sa ginagawa ko at napatitig sa kaniya.

Why the fuck is everyone talking about a baby now?

I cleared my throat at tumayo na para makapaglakad na kami palapit kila Aiah.

"Zimjan, I don't think it's a good time for us. We're too busy on our work, we can't really take care of a new... baby." Pagdadahilan ko.

"But I'm a big boy now, mommy. I can take care of myself... and the baby!"" He showed me a toothy smile, maybe thinking that would somehow convince me.

But that isn't the actual case here. The thing is, Chris and I, we aren't-obviously-really okay and I know he knows it. I mean, we don't do things that a usual married couple would be doing; we don't even talk that much and if we do it will all end up with me getting furious and him saying his unending apology.

I sighed. I just gave my son a tight smile at di na lang pinansin pa ang sinabi niya. Ramdam ko pa rin ang tingin niya sa akin na para bang nagiintay pa rin siya ng sagot ko o ng kahit anong reaksyon mula sakin.

"Zim, anak, daddy made bana-nutella sandwich for you!"

"What! Bana-nutella!" He exclaimed before he ran towards his father that is all smiles waiting for him to get the sandwich he is holding.

"Woah! I love you, daddy! Best dad ever!" He said out loud before he threw himself to his dad.

"Daddy loves you too, buddy! But he loves mommy more." Pangaasar ni Chris na tumingin na sa akin habang ako ay umuupo sa gilid niya.

"Grilled nutella sandwich for my lovely wife." He reached for the plate of grilled sandwiches at hinarap sa akin.

I smiled before I took one to my mouth. "Thank you." I muttered and he grinned at me.

He pulled me close to him to kiss my forehead and said, "I love you."

...

pasensya sa typos and grammatical errors ajuju e-edit ko na lang ulit pag may time HAHA,, miss ko na ang babies ko pati kau ahuhu,,,