Don't judge me it's an inside joke

Foreword

Don't judge me; it's an inside joke.

But really, this is not a serious fanfiction. This is meant to poke fun at dramatic shipfics and to be funny in a weird, sarcastic, mocking way.

In a nutshell, this is an inside joke that I took too far. My friend jokingly told me to write a fanfiction about myself and my shadow, and I'm actually doing it. ; )))

What is my life?

Here goes. Prepare yourselves, kidderinos.