Of course, a couple of days later Blake and I had walked into our apartment to find them christening our living room carpet. It goes without saying that we had to get a new one.
"No seriously, what did you do?"
For what seemed like ages, Josh had just stood on the other side of the counter, glaring at me.
"I don't like you very much right now, you know, Lexi," he huffed, feigning a look of hurt and resting a hand over his chest, causing a grin to creep onto my face.
Our silent stand off was interrupted by Blake appearing at the kitchen door, looking adorably dishevelled in a pair of low slung sweats alone, his bare chest distracting me from Josh.
"Don't you have your own girlfriend to keep you occupied at five o'clock in the morning? Or, at least a cat?" he grumbled, coming to stand behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. My head rested comfortably below his chin as I leaned into his body.
"I decided that I wanted a trade in. What do you say, Blakey?" Josh joked lamely.
All three of us cringed at the thought of what Josh had just said.
"Oh shit, now I feel like bleaching my brain to get the mental image out!" he yelled, clamping his hands over his eyes and walking around the kitchen in circles, bumping into the cupboard and the fridge while he was at it.
Blake and I burst out laughing at Josh's discomfort, causing him to stop and glare at us for a moment.
"Some best friends you two are, taking the Mick out of my suffering," he complained melodramatically, walking into the living room and dropping onto the couch with his hand on his forehead.
"Why don't you tell us what actually happened so we can decide if we should let you stay or kick you back to Daph," Blake suggested.
Still standing at the kitchen counter, I watched Blake's eye bypass the cup of now lukewarm coffee, heading straight for the double chocolate doughnut instead and I smiled -the boy and his chocolate.
"You know how I was making that sculpture of Daphne for her birthday, right?" Both Blake and I nodded though Josh couldn't really see us.
We'd been enlisted to help Josh make over a hundred tiny little white daisies out of paper mache for his sculpture.
It was a beautiful concept, this sculpture he liked to call 'Daphne Of The Woodstock'. It was of a girl -Daphne, of course- sitting crossed legged on the ground with her head thrown back as though enjoying the sun and the music, and it fit her to the T.
He'd made it entirely out of driftwood, save for the paper mache daisy chain he was making to go around her head.
"What about it?" I asked, groaning inwardly at what I was sure was going to be something trivial and pointless.
"Well, she came to surprise me at my studio and she was wearing this really hot dress, I swear the girl knows exactly how to get my attention, I mean..." Blake clearing his throat interrupted Josh midway, stopping him from getting too far away from the point.
With a sly grin in our direction, Josh started again.
"Yeah, so she came to the studio and she saw me working on it. Apparently, her boobs don't look like that," he said, sounding defeated.
In that moment, I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh at him or cry for him. Blake on the other hand was vibrating with laughter next to me, his shoulders were shaking so much I thought he might have been having a seizure.
"It's not funny! I might have upped her a couple of cup sizes but I don't see what the problem is," Josh complained, glaring at both Blake and I.
This time, I did laugh.
It was only several minutes later when I had calmed down enough to speak coherently that I did.
"Josh, with Daph what you see is exactly what you get. You should know that by now," I told him, reaching out to give his shoulder a comforting squeeze.
"It's not like I'm giving her a boob job for her birthday. I love her boobs. Daphne Of The Woodstock was just keeping me company for a while, I thought I could experiment a little," he argued stubbornly, causing Blake to choke out a laugh and then resume eating his doughnut which had been previously forgotten.
"We girls are odd creatures, Josh. As much as Daph doesn't act like other girls, she is on the inside. We're allowed to criticise our bodies, nobody else is. You adjusting her sculpture's boobs indicates that there's something about her you want to change," I said, hoping that some of what I was saying was making sense to him.
Daph was the toughest person I knew but I also knew her deeper that what was on the surface. Just like most other girls, she just had that little bit of insecurity on the inside.
"Show her that you love her just the way she is, even without Double Dang boobs."
When Josh leaped off the couch like his rear end was on fire, I jumped, startled.
"Where are you going?" Blake asked as Josh headed straight for the front door, seemingly deep in thought.
"To the studio. I have to shave Daph's boobs off."
Lexi The Relationship Guru
Start from the beginning
