My Hands Hold My Story (Rough Draft)

Chapter Fifteen

Cordelia refused to look in my direction. While Anna and Susan cleared the table and began washing the dishes, my stepmother went to the desk. She began to write and I had the sinking feeling that whatever she was putting down on the paper was meant for me.

To put it off as much as I could, I went out to get the wash tub ready for the day's washing. Over at the corral, I could see Remy working with one of the horses. Fascinated, I paused and watched him brushing the horse's neck.

He always looked at home when he was with animals and I'd never seen him have a problem with any four legged creature. I wondered if he'd always had that skill, or if it was something that could be learned. Was he at ease with people as well? There'd been only a few occasions when I'd seen him around people, so I had no idea whether he was or not.

My skirt suddenly felt weighed down and then heat met my skin. Alarmed, I spun around and tried to pull the wet fabric away from my body. Anna dumped a bucket of steaming water into the tub. She'd tossed hot water at me on purpose!

Why? To get my attention? Just because she could?

"Enough," I said and signed at the same time. Couldn't she see there was enough trouble in the family without her antagonizing me? What did she hope to gain from me?

"If you don't want to be here, then leave," she said, for the first time speaking slow enough I could follow what she was saying.

Leave? Where did she expect me to go? She twisted around and then nodded. I followed her gaze to see Cordelia at the kitchen door. My step-mother gestured for me to come to her. To do otherwise would have been disrespectful, so I walked over.

She held out a sheet of paper. Though I didn't want to, I took it from her. Cordelia turned and walked back into the kitchen, leaving me to read her message.

As your own mother is not here to advise you, Ivy, I feel it falls on me to do so in her place. I do not think you have considered your future as a young woman in your position must.

How long do you expect to remain dependent on your father? He has four other children to provide for. Do you think that you can rely on your poor brother? Simon has his own future to consider, and having his sister clinging to his sleeve will only hold him back from the man he should become.

My breath caught in my throat as my eyes moved over those words. How could she say such things? I was well aware of my father's responsibilities to his other children, my half-siblings. Even though I was deaf, I wasn't stupid. Never had I even thought Father should be focused exclusively on me.

And as to Simon, when had I ever 'clung to his sleeve'?

Breathing out, I tried to steady my emotions as I read on.

Now, I'm sure if you took the time to know Mr. John Dover, you would realize as I do that he is a fine match for any young lady, especially one in your situation. You must realize that you are at a severe disadvantage when it comes to having a secure future. Mr. Dover can give you that.

The paper shook so much in my hands that for a few seconds I couldn't continue reading. How dare she try to guilt me into accepting Mr. Dover's marriage proposal, one that he hadn't even made to me!

Anna went past me, her shoulder slamming into mine. I stumbled forward a step before I recovered my balance. As she continued walking, I glared at her back. There was simply too many things for me to handle.

A shadow fell over me, and I twisted around to see Simon at my side. His facial expression was grim and he took the paper from my hand. His mouth pressed into a thin line as he read what Cordelia had written.