The story of Dick

This shit is stupid

So yeah, you're here. Reading a shitty piece of work about me (Dick). Some lame ass fuck is writing this.

Okay want some detail, some background knowledge? Well fuck you. You get some. I'm like a cheap rip off of Rick Sanchez from Rick and Morty, without the Morty. I just travel alone, and i'm less funny and more sad. And instead of interdimensional travel I get time travel. And i'm not given a last name for mysterious effect.

Well more about me. Like um whats it called? Ummm.. a back story, yeah. Anyways I was born August 27th, 1987. Making me 30. I'm constantly high on this weird drug they call existential crisis and depression. Siiiiick. My parent's were slaughtered in front of me. By who? By me. They beat me until I said fuck off and pushed one down the stairs and cut the others throat while they were making mash potatoes. I was caught but then used as a government experiment. I escaped before anything to bad happened and I stole a rad time machine for fun. I figured it out quick. I was always rather smart. Quick learner. I fucked one thing up but thankfully nothing world ending. I learned the responsibilities of time travel. That's something I wish I didn't have to care about.

Anyways onto how look physically. And some of my sexuality. I'M A STRAIGHT WHITE MALE BITCH. I have messed with some guys before but I usually don't mention that so I guess the straight part was a lie. But who the fuck cares about labels anyway. Um I have black hair with some grey or silver streaks. Its like what the writers hair looks like but just different color. I typically wear a grey long sleeve with some brown khakis and some regular converse. Also side note, I forgot to tell you the time machine came with a cool laser pistol. Anyways my voice is like kinda deep and basic. My ship is just a little pod with two seats. But only one is used. And on the outside its just grey and shaped like a jelly bean. I'm typically good with the ladies..for one night. I've fucked so many different generation of bitches. Another side note I forgot to mention, the stupid writer likes to reflect himself upon me and I hate it. I'd be so much cooler with out him.

Anyways there will be like ten chapters and stuff and the main thing they all have in common is I never truly help the situation. Like Sometimes the ship takes me to places I have to be because I was involved in that historical event. And like even though the shit goes according to history I end up with a shit tone of blood on my hand. That's what I mean by I never truly help the situation. Anyways uh yeah, if you're reading this who knows when the author will write the next part. Maybe never maybe he will be too miserable, bye.