Fixing Nico [boyxboy / yaoi]

Ch 21 - Waking Up

I was done for.

Why… why couldn't I have just died?

'I'm okay.' I sighed the painfully-numb lie when as I realised Mum was staring at me expectantly for an answer. 

'No, you're not. And I think we all know it.'

My head snapped up - it wasn't Mum who uttered the dark, pain-filled words. It was… Chase? He stood in a stupor of shadows by the doorframe, along with another figure - the person besides him, with unkempt locks of brown, blonde and auburn hair and piercing, blue eyes brimming with an insane kind of panic - his body was tense, his breaths too quick, his hands screwed up into painfully tense fists.

'Nico!' he cried, his voice trembling, 'Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod…. I… I… Ohmygod…' he panted frantically, unable to form a coherent sentence. He seemed catatonically riveted into place, unable to move a muscle, even though through his bright, blue eyes he looked like he longed for nothing more than to reach out and touch me. I shuddered, my lip curling in disgust. A stab of pain arched through my fragile body as Christian's panicked face came into focus - he was too sharp, too clear, blue eyes too bright and beautiful. 

'Nico,' he huffed.

'What,' Mum growled dangerously, her shoulders shooting up to her ears, 'do you think you're doing here?'

Christian blinked and gaped at my fuming Mother - almost as if, in his state of panic, he hadn't realised she was there. He took one shaky step backwards, his breath still unusually quick. I'd seen a lot of people freak out - but the the too-bright glow flickering in Christian's brilliant eyes… he was frantic. Beyond frantic.

Christian's gaze snapped back to me - 'Nico,' he rushed, his entire body shaking like a leaf in a violent storm, 'Nico - please - p-please… I'm so sorry…. Please - please forgive me - I'll do anything… I'm sorry… I'm so… so… sorry…'

'NURSE!' Mum shrieked, sprinting from the hospital room - her rapid footsteps echoed across the hard, cold floor, her voice ringing out through the hallways: 'GET THIS BOY OUT OF HERE.' Andy was standing completely still - he wasn't blinking, he wasn't speaking, I don't even think he was breathing - he was just staring, eyes wide in silent screams, at Christian; as if the next words that spilled through his trembling lips were to either destroy or save the fate of the universe. Chase was doing nothing other than looming, uninterested, in the shadows, a bored expression plastered on his face as he observed the spectacle silently.

Everyone was staring at Christian.

'Please,' he pleaded once more. 'Please. Forgive me.'

I simply gazed at Christian, my eyes as cold and hard and steel. Forgive me. His hollow please echoed through my mind, bouncing around, tempting me to the extreme. I could just forgive him. Give him another chance. Everything would work out… right?

'No,' I rasped, my voice a mere, horse whisper. I cleared my throat, furrowed my eye brows and squared my jaw - lifting my face to stare Christian straight in the eye. His brilliant, blue, hysterical gaze flitted across my feeble body. 'No,' I repeated once more, my voice harder, this time - certain. 

'You… won't… N-no - please - p-please, Nico -' Christian began to beg, only to be interrupted by a bulky security guard as he burst through the door and pounded in the room - he seized Christian by the arm, yanking him towards the exit, as Christian became more desperate, more frantic - he was starling to tremble.

'NO!' He shrieked, flailing and fighting against the iron grip of the bulky man - those blue eyes were ablaze with a wild, insane blue flame as he screamed - his screeching of protest echoing through the empty, polished hallways - 'No!! PLEASE, NICO, PLEASE… No - I - I love you… n-no…. NICO!'

My name bounced around me, but I stayed firm, cold, emotionless. 'No,' I murmured as I watched, silent and serene, as Christian was dragged from my presence. 'I can't forgive you,' I whispered - Christian's heart seemed to break on the spot. 'I can't forgive this. Not this. It's gone too far.'

'Nico…'

'No,' I spat through gritted teeth. 'You have your second chance. It's over Christian - I'm not going to forgive you for what you've down to me.'

Christian swallowed painfully, pathetically, his body growing limp in the arms of the security guard, who propped him up with a grunt - until, suddenly, he straightened - his back went rigid, his lip curled, and he stared at me with a refreshed kind of triumph:

'I'll get him back for this,' Christian muttered, his gaze unwaveringly riveted onto mine. 'I promise, Nico, I'll make him pay.'

'Wh-what?' I demanded.

'Jason will pay,' Christian repeated calmly. His eyes were too bright, too blue. 'I'll make him pay, I fucking swear - I'll fucking kill him. I'll kill him!'

'The only way you could ever right your wrongs,' I spat back, 'is if you killed yourself.'

As I uttered those hard, cold words, a lump formed in my throat - Did I really mean that? And I really so bad... to wish my first lover to same fate as me?

Yes, I decided. Yes. I am. My chest seemed like a heartless, empty cavity. Filled with ice. 

Christian winced, slightly, but didn't lose his resolve - he whipped around, shoved past the perplexed-looking security guard, and sprinted from the room at full speed.

'Wh… do-do you think he's actually going to…' I stammered nervously, staring up at Andy in panic.

Andy's eyelids fluttered, the black lining his soft, greeny eyes flickering in and out of view with every blink, as he freed himself from the paralysis he'd been in before, his muscles slowly relaxing as he glanced around him, then fixed his calm, deep gaze back on mine.

He attempted a reassuring smile - managing to slightly lift one corner of his metal-studded lips. 'Nah…' Andy said shakily. 'He's not gonna do it, okay? Just don't worry about it - you should rest.'

I nodded slightly, the drowsy, dark blackness beginning to drift over me, as I pulled myself back down into the covers of the squeaky, metal hospital bed and felt my eyelids droop with a heavy sigh.

Why? I wondered miserably before I drifted off to sleep, why me? Why am I still alive? I just wanted to die but… now what? What do I do?

Where do I go from here?

With a heavy sigh, I let myself sleep. 

I didn't think it could possibly get worse than this… But, hell, was I wrong. 

Okay guys... so it's not a very good chapter... BUT THE NEXT ONE WILL BE BETTER I SWEAR

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