"if you receive this letter, it means the worst is done. i'm sorry, and i love you-this isn't what i want."
the doorbell to ryan's house rang the familiar tune, the slight thud of the letter hitting his front hallway floor-his letter had finally arrived.
brendon had promised him he would write the last time the had met. that had been around 6 months ago.
he and ryan had been lovers for 5 years. but then, one day, brendon left ryan. and oh, did it hurt. it hurt so much, it was hard to live. this letter was like the twist of a knife.
as the letter opener tore through the fragile paper, his thoughts started to race at what it may contain. would it be a finalization? an explanation? nothing more than a simple goodbye? or would they go back to their normal letters? would it just be another time where brendon left for his wife, only to return once more?
no, it couldn't be the last one. those never lasted this long.
he took out the fragile paper, unfolding it to look over the words.
dearest ryan,
if you receive this letter, it means the worst is done. i'm sorry, and i love you-this isn't what i want.
but you will find another, and i will understand. i just hope he loves you more than any other can.
i truly do apologize, dearest. but i simply couldn't juggle between my two loves anymore.
this affair took too much of a toll, a toll i am afraid i shan't recover from soon.
do not take this to heart, for it is honestly just me, not you.
i've written you all these letters, for reasons there's just one.
it shall be me you will remember when the postman comes.
most sincerely,
brendon boyd urie"
and though his heart hurt and weighed the weight of 1,000 anvils and he honestly just felt like giving up, it was from that day forth he decided that this shall not get to him.
he will live his life, not in spite, but in bravery to do so.
7 years later
with his children sat next to him, ryan read idly, thinking back to when he was younger.
his life had so much in store. he was young and vulnerable, gullible. he had much to learn, but he didn't mind not knowing.
his wife was away, on a trip with her family. her name was brooke, and she made him feel magical. she made him realise that brendon truly was just a fling. sure, he meant a lot, but brooke meant everything. he wasn't the world as it had so seemed at the time.
"father, who were you before you were my father?" his daughter, lucy, said.
"i was someone who you wouldn't like." was his response.
the doorbell to ryan's house rang the familiar tune, the slight thud of the letter hitting his front hallway floor-his letter had finally arrived.
brooke had promised to write him each week for which she was gone.
and for just a second, against his better will, he let his hopes get up. for just that one second, it was brendon he had imagined when the postman came.
---
i love this, short and sweet.
i strongly recommend you listen to this song while reading, and the rest of lucy's music as well. she's an extremely underrated artist who's actually really good.
an yes, i know the postman is about a woman's husband dying in war, but whatever, this works.
ps tHE NEW ATL ALBUM IS THE S H I T
have a good summer, asswipes
-ryan☀️
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the postman »» ryden oneshot
Poetry"if you receive this letter, it means the worst is done." -- title creds: the postman-lucy spraggan
