It was almost pitch black out, and I could barely see anything... just like always. I've always felt like I was left in the dark, barely able to see... constantly looking for the light at the end of the tunnel... but, eh... What else was new? The alpha was picking fights with everyone again, just like always. Wolves constantly wondering from the pack, the pups always trying to pounce on me or nip at my tail, the Hunters always on my fucking back or playing pranks and the elders talking shit, saying everything I do is wrong, and I'm out of place... As much as I hate it, I'm afraid to leave... I'm afraid to be on my own, out in the never-ending darkness...
But nothing could make this day worse... The Alpha left. He straight up walked out on us. No word, no warning, no signs, no nothing. I guess he just... didn't want anything to do with us anymore... which, I didn't exactly blame him. I never really got to know him anyways, he always scowled at me or gave me the coldest glares. But Sabrina, the Beta, is supposed to take over if the Alpha left or died. She was supposed to be my new leader... but she was out of her fucking mind. She wondered off and was always in a haze, she couldn't tell left from right or even raise her children correctly. How the hell was I supposed to trust her? Simple answer, I couldn't. There was no way on this damned Earth that I could ever trust her after what she put me through. For the first year of my life, she looked at me when she needed to let her anger out. She would throw me around and bite at my neck... I couldn't even tell you how many scars I have from her. She would blame me for her mistakes and go rancid... She would ignore me, leave me without food for several days and told me over and over... that I was worthless, and I could tell in her lifeless eyes that she meant what she said.
For the rest of my life, the word "worthless" stuck with me, stayed right in the back of my mind. The worst part? I believed it. I believed every word I was told, because I was raised to trust everyone easily. So, if they said something about me, it must have been true... From that point on, I wondered more into the dark... by myself. It got worse a few months later when the hunters and rascals of the pack began to pick on me more. The amount of times they pinned me to the ground or growled at me spitting hateful words... saying everything was my fault. After begging and begging, running away and hiding... it was all useless. I fell into this endless black hole, no longer calling out for help. At this point, I had given up.
It somehow managed to get worse when one of the pups pointed out my nose. She kept repeating "Purple! Purple!", and I cocked my head in confusion. It took me a few days to notice my paws slowly turning purple. One of the pack leaders suggested for me to be killed, as I was "Unnatural, and frightening". A few days later, my whole tail was dark shades of purple, my whole muzzle looking as if I dipped my face in grape juice. After a few weeks, nearly my whole body was covered in this dark, almost depressing color. I've never seen anything like this before. My whole coat of grey and brown was taken over by this... hideous amethyst color. Only small spots on my back and front legs remained dark grey. Because of this, everyone ran from me, more than they already did. The growled at me, ignored me, talked about me behind my back like I couldn't hear... From then on, I would always hang my head low, and curl my tail between my legs, never daring to look at anyone directly in the eyes again... for I was afraid.
Soon after, I left. I left the wolves that I called "family" and ran. I followed in the Alpha's footsteps without realizing. I ran as far as my legs could carry me, until my paws were ripped and sore. I didn't have a reason to stop, I didn't have a reason to hide anymore. I was running wild... but it didn't make me feel any better. Yes, I was finally free from the torture, and I was able to wake up every day without having to worry about who was going to throw me to the ground and stomp all over me... but I was still alone.
