Polaris (A Liam Payne Fanfiction)

Part 1: A Hasty Exit

"I know, I know," I muttered, frowning. "But I'll be home soon. I promise we'll go and do something when I'm back,okay?"

She laughed, and I could hear piano keys tinkling in the music room. My heart gave a painful squeeze; she had to truly miss me to spend time with the piano. Usually, given the choice, she would be outside running, or playing some sport. That is, if mother would let her. I moved around the kitchen while she played whatever discordant melody that came to mind.Knowing that she needed me, I'd stay on the line as long as I could. Using the time, I filled two mugs full of coffee, and fixed Ellen's just how she liked it: black, two spoons raw sugar. Mine, on the other hand, was steamed milk and no sugar.

"Are you scared?" Louise finally asked, keys silencing. I thought about lying to her, telling her that no, I was I was perfectly fine. But then, I thought about the pact we six had made five years ago: to always be transparent with one another. Always, no matter what.

"I am terrified, Louise. But my feelings don't matter, you know that."

She grunted, low and dissatisfied. "Promise me we'll eat ice cream in daddy's study when you get back."

"I promise," I answered, cutting a laugh down swiftly as it bubbled forth. Father would have a cow.

My thoughts occupied,  a scream tore from my lungs at deafening pops and bangs outside the kitchenette window. I felt, rather than saw  the mugs clatter to the tile floor. Hot liquid pooled at my feet, but I didn't care. Instead, I skid down the cabinets, heartbeat going ten thousand miles an hour, eyes unfocused.

Almost instantly, the bathroom door was wrenched open, and my second flat mate emerged. He took one glance at me, then over to my right , and promptly steamrolled out the front door.

"Rose..Rosie.." Someone's cool hands were smoothing the hair back from my slick forehead. "Moo,you're okay. Everything is alright." Slowly, my eyes focused again, and Ellen appeared, her worried gaze scanning my face for anything, anything at all.

"I'm sorry about the coffees," I murmured, sucking in air through my teeth. My friend snorted gaily, "Well, I'm awake now,so no worries!"

She waited patiently, breathing in measure with me until the front door slammed again.

" We're clear, just some happy graduates shooting firecrackers off." Running a hard through his wet hair, our third roommate inclined his head towards us, and then left to return to his bathroom, where, by the looks of things, he had been brushing his teeth.

"You know, in four years, he hasn't gotten any less stony," Ellen commented, heaving me from the floor. "You'd think my rousing wit would have made some impact."

Laughing, I glanced in the direction he had left. "I don't think rousing is in his vocabulary, El."

"One can hope."

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I believe a place knows when you are leaving it. There's a mournful, heavy silence from the walls, dust gathering, glittering in the corner of you eye. The photos, the mementos shine with just a hint of sadness that you can't quite put your finger on. My room didn't feel like mine anymore, just a space where someone like me might once have lived, and someone like me might live again. The thought was sobering, creeping up my spine like a snake. Packing wasn't meant to be this dreadful, was it? Feeling like a stranger in a place you had called home? I moved slowly, unpinning the photographs from the walls, packaging them lovingly inside a box of their own. Memories for another time, a later time.