No More Secrets? Yeah Right! (A One Direction Fan Fic)*Watty Awards 2012*

Chapter Twenty Three

Maddox

Where u at man?

Chem was ded w/o u!

Plus Cindy kpt askin 4 u ;)

I placed the phone besides me on the bed, not bothering to reply. Maddox is my best friend but he can be so inconsiderate sometimes. Not about Ignacia because none of my friends know about that situation but about the Cindy situation. The others think she’s quite… hot but she’s just really annoying with her constant squeaky voice calling my name. I felt a flicker of anger rush through me with the thought of her and for a while I preferred this feeling than the hurt that took over when Ignacia drifted into my thoughts. Along with her, the letter came into mind too and I found myself putting my hand under my pillow and feeling for the envelop. I pulled it out and examined the golden envelop in my hand, twisting it one way then another. I ogled at my name on the front which was almost faded until my vision was a blur again due to tears forming. I took three deep breaths in and out before I gained the courage to open it with my shaking hands. I turned it around to the back and carefully picked at the letter.

Last night, I had overheard my parents talking about whether it was the right time to give me the letter, but I guess they decided against it because I had to retrieve it myself this morning before any of them woke up. I found it deep in one of Mum’s draws (don’t ask).

I pulled out a piece of paper and unfolded it. My eyes flicked over the paragraph without reading the actual letter yet. I could never forget the handwriting. This caused a lump to form in my throat. I, then, decided to read it.

To Fausto, my dear brother,

Do you remember me? Do you resent me? Do you still love me even after I left you? Those are only a few of the questions running through my mind.

Fussy, my dear brother, I love you so so much. You’d think that’ll be a reason to stay but it was the reason for me to go. I left for your own good. I’d only mess up your life like I’d done for the others. I wouldn’t be able to bare it if you despised me too. I’d have become an unwanted obstacle in your life too if I go on the way I am. I don’t know if you remember but at the time I broke many promises made to you and disappointed you so much and you were only seven. I accept that I am such a bad sister to both you and Emma. Oh, Emma, how I had ruined her life.

But Fussy, believe me, the decision I had made back then was nothing to do with you or Emma, or anyone else for that matter. You were such a good little brother to me and supported me no matter what. Are you good for Mum and Dad?  I wish I knew how they’d cope with me gone.

Fausto, I have something important to share with you and I can’t think of anyone else better to share it with. Here goes:

I’m not above,

Nor down below,

I’m not too close,

Yet not too far,

BUT, I am merely in hiding.

What I’m trying to say is that I’ll be back one day. I have only gone to find myself. I will come back to see you and the family but who knows? That could be a year from now or even once you’ve grown into a man. A handsome man. The point is, I WILL be back and when I do I hope you won’t hate me for what I have put you all through. I love you, Fausto. Wait for me?

Forgive me…

Healing the lost, Ignacia

The ink smudged through as the droplets of tears fell upon the letter as I read it. My stomach melted and I skimmed through the letter a few more times. It didn’t register what she had said in the letter until the fifth time reading. Then it finally clicked and I let out a yelp in happiness.

“She’s alive.” My voice was a whisper and I closed my eyes tight and repeated those words. “Ignacia is really alive.” This is to get myself into believing it.

But the police never found her. I mean, they didn’t find a body but they didn’t find her either. The search for Ignacia only lasted a month according to Mum. They gave up because the case was going nowhere.

I jumped up, my heart increasing in pace as I bounced off my bed. My feet slammed onto the ground but the feeling of glee overpowered the pain. I was more than happy. She was coming back and that’s all that mattered. I left the letter on my bed as I headed towards my door, unlocking it. I practically ran down the stairs and into the living room.

Everyone was sat on the floor in a circle. By everyone, I mean everyone: Mum, Dad, Aunty Tianna, Grandma, Freya, Zayn, Liam, Emma, Niall, Harry, Louis, Eleanor and Freya’s Dad. The table and sofa was pushed to one side in order to make space for everyone. They were currently in a memorial sort of thing where they’d take turns to mention what they liked about Ignacia and what she meant to them and this was held every year on this day. I walked in through Zayn’s speech. The boys have only ever attended one other memorial for Ignacia which was the year after she’d gone but all the other years, they’d been busy.

“… never forget how she got me and Freya together. I owe her that because if it wasn’t for her Freya and I may not ever have happened.” He flashed a smile at Freya who sat opposite him next to Mum. Freya and Zayn are no longer together but they are still great friends and don’t regret their relationship. They both moved on eight months ago.

“Fussy,” Emma suddenly squealed with a slightly high pitch. Her gaze penetrated the ground moments before she looked up, playing with her engagement ring. Liam had an arm firmly around her shoulder. Yes, that’s right. Liam and Emma are engaged although they’ve broken their engagement two times now; let’s hope its third time lucky. Everyone’s face turned to me and I gazed at Mum. Her eyes were ringed with red and her lips trembled. Dad held onto one of her hands. He gave me an encouraging nod to come sit with them. Emma tapped the empty space next to her with a weak smile.

I smiled back, genuinely this time with the knowledge I had and sat next to her. She instantly pulled me into a hug.

“Fausto,” Mum cried once, glancing my way.

“Mum…” I trailed off not sure if I should tell them. I decided against it at first. “I love you,” is what I settled on. She smiled and repeated those words to me. I felt the smiles of others. Niall made his speech next, then Liam. It came to Harry and he refused to look at anyone.

“Ignacia…” He sighed. “Ignacia was a loveable girl and I couldn’t help but fall for her. She was the type who would never ask for help when she clearly needed it. She…” He could no longer continue as he let out a weep. He placed his thumb and forefinger over his eyes and wiped away the tears.

“It’s Okay.” Aunty Tianna rubbed his back as we all waited.  Harry gave up and silenced himself.

“Okay Fausto, it’s your turn now,” Mum indicated, everyone’s gaze turned to me. What a great timing!

I took a deep breath. “I don’t remember much about Ignacia to be honest. I mean, I remember spending so much time together and loving her. I remember playing games with her. I don’t remember whether she liked the things I did but whatever I chose to do she’d always join in with a smile. She’s never done wrong by my side. ” I took another deep breath. “I love her so much and there’s so much I could say about her.”

I put my hands together up to my chin and looked up at the ceiling. “Please, Ignacia, just come back soon.” I noticed everyone staring at me as if I was crazy when I looked back down. I took a deep breath. Now is a better time than ever. “I read her letter to me. She’ still alive and she promised to come back.” Mum was the only one I looked at when I spoke.

They all gasped.