Do you ever get that feeling,
A small surge in your chest
That tells you this place isn't right
I don't belong here
I'm uncomfortable?
A feeling that no matter where
You go, what you do, or who you see
Tells you this isn't real,
This isn't right,
Run away or fight
Although the world around you,
Nature in all its glorious forms
Calling to you to be at peace,
Soothes you for a time,
That feeling lingers.
In the dark recesses of you mind,
It festers and boils,
Until once again it consumes you.
When walking in your home pains you,
And sleep is a monster in itself.
For if you sleep, you gain some respite,
But upon waking that feeling,
One of dread,
Is so palpable in the air you can taste it.
When you want to be nowhere,
When all you want is time to pass by,
To not exist,
To join the chaos of that eternal sleep.
That is when you know you are lost.
So unable to get over that feeling,
Not belonging anywhere,
Not feeling happy or safe anywhere,
You sit, you read, you let the world move around you.
And in that stillness,
You finally feel nothing.
