August

"We're worried about you August." My grandmother said with a sigh, entering my lonely room where I lay sprawled out on the floor. A bag of Calbee Shrimp Chips sat beside me and a soft melody flooded my ears. She groaned, "Look at this mess!" I pulled out my earbuds and sat up, slouching and rubbing sleep from my eyes. "Your father hoped you would get better by coming here." She turned on the light, causing me to shield my eyes.

"There isn't anything to fix, If i'm a problem then send me back to Tokyo." She sighed and shook her head.

     "You're going to attend the high school in Nagano for the time being, you start this Monday. It's what's best for you." I bolted up and my eyes widened.

"You can't be serious!" She shrugged and let out a heavy sigh, tossing a uniform onto my bed and leaving without another word. I fell back onto the floor with a loud thud, still shielding my eyes.

I honestly hate her. She pretends so well and it sickens me, this whole family does. Acting so nice and whilst I grieve and lay silently in pain, nobody seems to care.

I to like think back to when I did have someone to care, and when I, to put it simply, didn't care. Whether It was money or kindness, I always seemed to take it for granted. That was, until she died. That was when the world came crashing down on me. I couldn't make friends, or go out, or have fun, I just stayed inside and took online classes. I didn't need anyone to fill that empty void, no one could. After that I moved in with my Dad. He tried and tried but, I just couldn't seem to open up. Im sure I hurt him alot, he wouldn't be wasted 24/7 if I had actually taken his exitinstance into consideration. I feel guilty, but not guilty enough to actually try.

I sighed and shook my head, "It's too cold." I slowly got up and went to my closet, pulling on a black fleece jacket. Then, I made my way to my bed, paying no mind to the uniform I just received. I tossed it on the ground, the plastic wrapping hitting my thin carpet. I dropped down onto my bed and grabbed my phone. Propping myself up on one elbow, I checked my messages. Once again, nothing, not even a single 'Hello' or 'How are you'. I exhaled slowly, attempting to relive a weight on my chest, but it remained. Lingering on my heart and pulling me down with it.

I slowly crawl under my covers and vanish into its warm embrace, not a mother's embrace, but at least it was something.

***

It was Monday. Dreaded Monday.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror of my bathroom. My lanky figure fitting perfectly in the uniform that consists of a white button /up shirt and black dress pants. My gray-blue eyes stare back at me as I furrow my brows. I don't want to do this, and to be honest, I'm scared. My body shivered.

I grip my wrist tightly and take in a deep breath, "You can do this, August. Show them you're alright so you can go home." I closed my eyes and placed my palms onto the sink. I swallow thickly as I remember my mother's words, still echoing in my mind, It's alright. It's something I remember her telling me a lot. I nod and prepare to leave the house of memories I wish I could find the key to. Once I open my eyes I stare back into the mirror. My grandmother is glaring at me, but as soon as she sees me staring, she plasters a fake smile upon her face.

She opened her mouth to say something but I just pushed passed her and said simply, "That mask doesn't suit you." Of course she stared at me confused, clearly not understanding what I meant. I didn't bother explaining, it would only start an argument. I sling my backpack over my shoulder and trot down the stairs. My grandfather looks me over and gives me a nod, signaling for me to come with him to the car. I follow him reluctantly.

The drive is silent. We both refuse to say anything. I just stare at the fields as the sun peeks over the surrounding mountains. A bit of anxiety seems to peel away as I smile softly at the sunset completely lost in its beauty. So much that I don't even realize we have already arrived at the train station until my shoulder is abruptly shaken. I jump at the sudden action, quickly realizing it was my grandfather. "You'll be late, hurry up." He said with anger coating his voice. I sling my legs out and onto the concrete, then slide my whole body out. I adjust my bag and he hands me five thousand yen. I look up at him confused. "For your train ticket." he states, still upset.