A boy's life (Kuroko no Basuke fanfic - Kise Ryota)

Sixteen

I felt some of my energy leave my body. This confession is too much to take and it's too mysterious.

Because of me. He hated... himself? I made him hate his self? How?

"You want to know why?" He said, still with that smile, "I hated myself because of thinking that I like my best guy friend."

It felt like time has stopped. I made him feel gay and because of it, he hated himself. And now he'll know that all along, I was a girl.

He liked me. He like me, but as a guy. He like me... his bestfriend. But he hated himself for it. I don't know what I should do.

He liked me. That's positive. But because of it, he hated himself. That's negative. What should I do?

And then I breathed for air, realized that I held my breath for too long. I spoke up, "Kise, I'm sorr--"

"Whatever. This conversation wouldn't bring us anywhere." He stood up to leave and adrenaline comes back into my body. I also stood up, held his hand and said, "Kise, don't leave now. Please."

He slowly turned and sated into my eyes. "Why should I stay?" He asked.

"W-well," I let go of his hand and thought of a reason, "Kise, you know, I'm really sorry."

He turned his back on me again to walk away but I got his arm and turned him to face me again. "Kise, I'm really sorry about everything. I'm guilty about doing these things but what you're thinking of is wrong." He only stared at me. I tucked a stray hair to my ear nervously and said, "Kise just, please, I'm sorry." I blinked at him. I don't know how he'll react to what I'll say next but, I got to take the chance, "Kise... I..."

I looked down to my feet, bit my lip and looked up to meet his golden eyes again, "I like you, Kise. Please. It's hard for me too."

There, I finally said it. I'm just hoping with all my strength that he'd just listen to me.

He smiled in a mocking way, "Shut up, liar." He said and tried to move away but I held onto his arm and said, "Kise, please!"

"Let go of me." He stiffly said without looking my way. He sighed, "Liars disgust me. Let go."

"No, I won't let go!" I shouted. I can't help it anymore. I just want him to understand. Before I leave, I want him to know everything.

"Could you just please let go of me?!" He shouted finally looking at me.

"Not until you listen." I whispered. Afraid of what will come out after this conversation.

"Damn! I won't and don't want to listen to all your bullshit, Naru! Just let me go!" He said and I winced at his tone.

"Kise, just please! Can't you understand?!" I asked and pulled him when he tried to walk away.

"I can understand but I don't want to because I'm hurt right now! Just leave me be and I'll think this by myself!" He shouts back.

I can't let him leave me right now. "Kise, please. I'll be leaving to England tomorrow." I admitted.

"Oh good God. And you didn't even tell me!" He shouted at me.

"I was supposed to say that I'm leaving tomorrow to you today but then this happened." I said, feeling guilty.

"So you're planning on leaving your secret unknown by the person who doesn't know yet?! You're escaping?!" He says and ran his fingers through his hair again, "Whatever. I'm leaving."

He was already near the door but I shouted, "Kise! Please!" I reached out for his hand and when I made contact to it, he held it tightly and turned to pin me on the wall.