A boy's life (Kuroko no Basuke fanfic - Kise Ryota)

Sixteen

I gulped, trying to make the feeling away. "Kise..." I said, trying to defend myself but my voice betrayed me. It came out hoarse and vulnerable.

I met his gaze. He's so angry. All he thinks about is that I am a godforsaken liar. He doesn't even see me as his friend anymore. That made me cry even more inside. God, what have I done? 

"Kise, please." I tried. He has already set his mind that I'm a freaking, goddamned, liar.

My heart pounds inside my chest so hard that I think it might break some bones of my rib cage. It just hurts so much that all I can do about the pain is to cry it out. It feels like my heart is being squeezed and it'll bump itself to my ribs to make it bleed even more. If my heart could be bruised and wounded by feelings literally, it would probably be battered right now.

It just... hurts so much.

His smile fades as he spoke up again. "So tell me, Naru. In all those lies, did you even do something real?"

"It's not all lies, Kise. Please..." I begged him. I don't know why I'm begging but... it's all I can say.

"Did you laugh because of how stupid your fangirls are when they squeal in delight just when they see you?" He said.

"No. No, Kise. No. Please. No." I brought my hands up to my face to cover it, trying to hide the threatening tears to come out of my eyes.

"When you dressed as a girl, is it in your plans to make someone feel like they're gay?" He said it like he's spitting something filthy out of his mouth.

I shook my head, saying no again like a mantra. "Kise, please. No. It's not what you think. Please. Please, listen to me."

"Listen to you?" He hissed, "All I'll hear is lies so don't you dare open your mouth."

"Kise. I told you, I won't lie--"

"Shut up, Naru!" He shouted so I paused. Bewildered. He himself is shocked in what he did.

I took a deep breath and straightened my posture. Waiting for him to speak.

He ran his fingers through his hair. Trying to compose himself again.

"Don't talk." He orders as he points at me with his face looking down.

"But Ki--"

"I told you!" His head shots up to stare at me with wide, angry eyes, "Don't speak."

He inhaled and after he exhaled, he's composed again.

"Don't talk... because if you speak lies again, I might fall for it once again." He said like he's in misery. "I should not believe a damn thing you'll say again. I don't want to fall for it anymore." He says and he ran both of his hands through his hair and rested his face on it. "I don't want to fall over and over again from all the words that you have said. I don't want to be hurt anymore."

I feel so guilty. Making my bestfriend feel like this. Hurting him. Hurting Kise this much. Hurting someone I love so damn much.

Tears pool in my eyes again but I blinked it away. Licking my lips and biting it to prevent myself from crying out loud.

Maybe this is a punishment for me. Well, damn... this is torture.

"Naru..." He called out so I looked at him and our gazes locked. His bright eyes were dark and full of painful feelings. It doesn't look angry right now but... it looks soft. So vulnerable. So fragile. So wounded.

I feel chocked again so I gulped. Waiting for him to speak again.

He laughed, a short laugh that mocks oneself. "Because of your lies..." He smiled and it's like he's squeezing my heart. I realized I'm holding my breath because of the wrenching feeling in my chest, "Because of your freaking lie," He smiled with no humor and continued, "I hated myself."