LINKED- a Philkas one shot

LINKED

He hobbled over to the couch, hand hovering over his side, and Philip sits up, staring at him with concern. Lukas rolls his eyes as Philip helps him sit down. "Does it hurt?"

"It's fine," Lukas sighs.

"You sure? Because it kind of look like-"

"It's fine, Philip!" Lukas snaps and Philip bites his lip, nodding slowly and staring at his feet. "Sorry, I just-"

"I get it," Philip tells him, forcing a sad smile. "I'm, uh... I'm gonna go see if Helen is home."

Lukas groans and watches Philip leave. Lucky, he thinks. He can walk so... smoothly. No pain.

He stares at his lap for the seventeen minutes Philip is gone. Philip returns with a small box of Frosted Flakes. "Sugary deliciousness," Philip tells Lukas, shaking the box. Lukas tries to hold back his smile, he really does.

Philip smiles back and sits down beside him. Lukas starts opening the box of Frosted Flakes as Philip talks. "Why did you snap at me like that?"

"Not sure," Lukas mumbles and Philip sighs.

"You're a horrible liar. I mean, I get it, I was being pushy, but you don't- you don't have to- I'm just worried about you," Philip stammers, wringing his hands.

"Why?"

"Why? Because you've gotten... eight hours of sleep the past two weeks! You say you're feeling fine but it looks like you're in pain. I don't like watching you hurting," Philip exclaims. "I don't understand why you have to bottle it all inside."

Lukas sighs and drops his head in his hands, groaning. "I don't... I don't know. I think it sometimes feels like..."

"Like what?" Philip asks, resting a hand on Lukas's thigh.

"I think... I'm not sure. It, uh... it sometimes seems like you're only staying with me because you feel guilty."

"Guilty?" Philip echoes and Lukas nods. "What would I feel guilty about?"

"I don't know. My PTSD. I mean, if you were dealing with this I would feel like it was my fault. Although it really is... If I wasn't a fucking coward-"

"You're not a coward, Lukas," Philip whispers, biting his lip. "You knocked that guy out with a frying pan!"

"I couldn't imagine him hurting you," Lukas mumbles. "You would have done the same."

"I would have wanted to," Philip says. "I don't know if I would have been able to, though. God, it would have torn me apart."

It was Lukas's turn to comfort Philip. He rests a hand on Philip's knee and Philip glances at him. He bites his lip and Lukas smiles at him. He presses their foreheads together and Philip closes his eyes.

"Is Helen home?" Lukas whispers and Philip shakes his head, mouthing "no."

"She's working late. No surprise there. And I think Gabe and your dad are fishing together or something," Philip says and Lukas snorts.

"Are they best friends now?"

"Probably," Philip sighs and smiles, leaning forward and kissing him. "So, we have the place to ourselves. What do you want to do?"

"You," Lukas grins as he speaks and Philip rolls his eyes, chortling.

"You're so subtle," Philip laughs and pushes Lukas onto his back. Lukas reaches for Philip's wallet and takes the condom out. Philip takes it from his hands and tears it open with his teeth.

***

A week later and Lukas still can't stop thinking that Philip is only with him for guilt. Guilty because he wants to leave him but he can't because he has PTSD and he doesn't want Lukas to try to hurt himself.