-"Shit"- he murmured. He was having another one of his "attacks".
He was usually very busy doing something else to keep himself occupied, but during days like this, when he found himself alone and with a lot of spare time, he'd think about how expendable and worthless was his life, the same as all others. Who was it that said that humans are alone in their births, in their sufferings, and in their deaths? Well then, he was damn right.
He lived alone in a rented apartment room payed by his parents. He was away from his family and hometown, away from all of his friends, to accomplish his "dreams". He thought he would be able to meet amazing people and form new relationships with them. How stupid of his part, thinking that he would be able to reject the commodity of home.
It turned out that it was him who was not so amazing. Every time an opportunity to make friends showed up in front of him, he would remind himself of other important tasks that had a higher priority than socializing. "Another day..." he kept saying. "Another day I'll make friends".
-"Aaaaah!"- he screamed in frustration, and buried his face into his hands.
He was sitting on the edge of his red couch in the modestly luxurious room. Over his head was a timid chandelier hanging by a sufficiently tall ceiling adorned by bright yellow lightbulbs. In front of his knees, about twenty centimeters away, a dark wooden coffee table stood, carrying a heavy load of books and a DIY pencil case made as a birthday present by his little sister back at home.
-"Jesus fucking christ! This is just great..."- he said -"Now I won't be able to do anything else but to regret my decisions"-
And that was what he began doing.
Tired of... just being, he lied down on the couch and tried to take a nap when the bell rang. Someone on the other side of his door began knocking on it
-"The pizza is here!"- the human being on the other side said.
"What a noisy guy is that" he thought, as he wondered when did he order pizza.
He walked onto the door and peeked through the little peephole. The man on the outside didn't carry any pizza. He wasn't even wearing a uniform of any kind. Instead, he was wearing a white shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans that had a golden chain hanging over its right pocket, probably a pocket watch.
The man who claimed to be the pizza delivery got close into the peephole and said:
-"Sir? Should I leave it here?"- it was as if he knew he was standing behind his door, spying at him through the peephole.
He waited for something else to happen. About two minutes of silence passed, then the man bent his body down and picked something up from an angle invisible from his position. It was a pizza box.
"Well, at least there's pizza" he though, and abruptly opened the door and greeted the man:
-"Ah, sorry. I was taking a shower"- he said and tried to grab the pizza box
-"Yes of course, I totally know that thanks to your completely dry hair"- said the man, dodging his hands and stepping into the house.
-"What are you doing?"- he asked, surprised by the man's moves. -"Get out sir!"-
-"Surely, you can offer me something for the pizza"-
-"Well, I'll pay you, but get out of my house!"- he said, a bit angry at the man's indifference, as he began looking at every corner of his house.
-"Yes!"- he said, turning around, squeaking his shoes against the tiles underneath him. -"Pay me with something exotic!"- he said, but then stopped and started to think a bit deeper. -"Maybe not exotic... maybe just something mildly interesting could be fine"- he said, emphasizing the word fine.
-"Get out! Or I'll call the police"-
-"But why? I gave you a pizza. Shouldn't that let me pass?"- he said, and began meandering through his thoughts. -"Getting all the correct proportions for the ingredients was quite hard."- and the man walked deeper into his house.
-"You made it?"- he asked, but then noticed the man walking more to the inside. He sprinted and grabbed the man by his shoulder. -"This is enough!"-
-"Well, it is not my first time it exploded"- said the man, suddenly stopping. Then gave a nervous giggle -"Potassium nitrate! Lovely thing it is"- he affirmed.
-"Get out!"- he said, now with a darker tone of voice.
-"For what? So that you can close the door in front of my face and leave me sitting in front of your door for hours? Imagine what would happen if you did that!"- he exclaimed, and began speeding up his words -"It wouldn't make me feel bad, but I would certainly feel abandoned. I would sit in front of your door like a beggar, waiting for you to come out. I would wait for about three minutes and notice that my time scale was wrong and actually five months had passed just like that and never saw you come out..."- he turned around and kept going -"And then realize the possibility of your death! I'd go up to my floor, just right above yours, climb down through my window and towards yours and see your corpse, lying on the couch, just like you were five minutes ago, with its belly stuck into the spine because of your starvation."- he slowed down a bit and stared into his eyes. -"You feel lonely, don't you Tony?"-
During the entire speech of the man, which he had ignored completely, the man was slowly pushed outside of the house and never even reacted to his expulsion of the house.
-"My name is not Tony"- he said, and closed the door.
-"No way I've got that wrong!"- said the man from the other side.
Actually, his name was indeed Tony. Anthony Moore Wilson to be precise. How did the man know?
"I spilled too much personal information in internet" he thought and walked back into the living room. The man outside kept saying things he didn't mind.
"Should I call the police?" he began wondering, when after the five minutes he had taken inspecting the pizza, possibly containing flammable materials -he thought no- the man was still outside, waiting for the door to open.
-"Go away! I will call the cops if you don't"- he walked up towards the door and screamed through it while looking into the peephole. -"In fact, I am doing right now!"-
The man seemed to hear him and walked the hallway and into an elevator.
Tony called the cops anyways.
YOU ARE READING
For the love of god!
FantasyWhat if all religion is wrong? Maybe they all got it wrong... Join this story of a man meeting an impossible being. Take it as a joke and try not to be offended. (Just try to)
