Unfortunate Events

Event Five: Austere Academy, Part Two

Malfoy was in a state of shock, which Hermione found mildly amusing. As of late, he had always seemed so calm and collected. It was about time she saw him squirm for once.

Andromeda was tapping a slender finger against her chin. "Cissy, are you sure you never visited here again? I could have sworn I saw you and Lucius here quite often. If I'm not mistaken, you even had a certain spot reserved for you. Right over there." Andromeda was pointing to a nearby broom closet.

"Dad brought you here to snog?!" Malfoy said in a high voice, his face stuck between laughter and revulsion. Hermione herself was trying not to giggle. For some reason, she couldn't picture two people as stuck up as Lucius and Narcissa ever entering a broom closet, much less making out inside one.

"Oh, look. Here's the food!" Narcissa called out, her voice chirping like that of a wee bird.

The server placed their meals and drinks before them, effectively ending their interesting conversation. Hermione once again felt out of place and waited until they were all eating before she picked up her fork.

She was in the middle of chewing on a particularly large piece of roast when Andromeda turned to her. "How fortunate you decided to tag along on Harry's visit to Neville. I'm not sure Cissy and I could have convinced Draco to have lunch with us otherwise. Usually he can't get far enough away."

Well, that solved one mystery. Tonks had clearly inherited her knack for troublemaking from her mother.

Hermione could feel Narcissa's expectant gaze on her, and she couldn't keep from blushing. Why didn't Malfoy say anything? Correct their silly assumptions? Well, she knew why, but she expected some kind of reaction. After all, he was being portrayed as some besotted schoolboy; surely that had to damage his ego.

And apparently Andromeda wasn't finished. "Perhaps I should have you two babysit Teddy together."

Hermione kicked Malfoy under the table, but he only smiled at her.

"What a wonderful idea!" Narcissa exclaimed. "You know, Hermione, Teddy absolutely adores Draco. I think he realizes what an excellent father he'd make."

Malfoy still wasn't speaking, but at least now Hermione wasn't the only one blushing. Good, he deserved to suffer with her. And just to make sure that he was really accompanying her in misery, she kicked him again.

Having accomplished that, Hermione reached for her flagon of butterbeer. She was just taking a sip when something began moving up and down her calf. The warm liquid stuck in her throat, and she began to cough. Violently.

"Are you alright, dear?" Narcissa peered over at her with what looked like concern. But Hermione didn't get to scrutinize whether or not it was real; she was too busy trying not to squirm as Malfoy gently stroked her back. Hacking out her lungs as she was, Hermione was powerless to defend herself against the attack. If she weren't about to die, and if it weren't for the crowd of witnesses, she would have hexed him for playing footsies with her. And he must have known that, because he looked uncommonly smug.

Well played, Malfoy. Well played indeed.

When Hermione managed to stop coughing, she mumbled out, "I'm fine. Just went down the wrong pipe."

"You should drink more carefully, Hermione. I'd hate to see that happen again." Malfoy gently took her hand. With Andromeda and Narcissa watching like a pair of hawks, Hermione could only squeeze his hand back, hoping she was inflicting untold pain and damage. But the git only rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand, completely unaffected. After a second or two, he finally get go.

He'd made his point. No more kicking of the legs. Hermione stared at her food sullenly.

As they continued eating, she noticed that neither she nor Malfoy really spoke. Proceedings were dominated by the older witches, who seemed more than willing to fill the empty spaces. It was just as well. Hermione was too busy concentrating on her food and ignoring the way Malfoy kept looking at her to truly participate.