Candle to Keep Out the Night

When Harry comes home and finds Louis crying at their kitchen table, needless to say, he's worried, but it isn't an unusual sight.

They'd found out that Louis was infertile months ago and it had hit them hard. They had both always talked about have a baby, more than one preferably. They both really wanted one.

They'd had sex without using any sort of protection for two years, their sole goal to get Louis pregnant, and after a little less than a year had passed, Harry had started getting a growing sense of unease in his stomach. He had been incredibly nervous to talk to Louis about it because he felt like if he voiced his suspicions out loud, then it would make them reality. But after another few months passed and it was more than a year of them trying but there were no little plus signs on the pregnancy tests, he had shakily confronted Louis about it.

"Do you think...maybe something is wrong with one of us?"

Louis had hit him.

Louis had thrown things at him.

Louis had screamed at the top of his lungs at him.

And then he had told him, collapsing on the floor and sobbing in Harry's arms, that he had gone to the doctor's a week prior and had been given the news.

Louis was infertile.

They couldn't have a baby.

He hadn't told Harry for the same reason that Harry hadn't confronted him about his suspicions- he didn't want it to become reality.

It was an ugly reality and they had cried together for hours, huddled together on the floor. They were being denied the one thing that they had both always wanted.

It hit them both hard, but Louis took it more badly than Harry did.

He cried for what seemed unstoppinly for days and every night for weeks. He pushed Harry away almost immediatly. He slept in their guest room and hardly ever spoke, not just to Harry, but to everyone.

Harry had tried desperately to fix things. But all he had was tape when they needed steel to weld them back together.

It wasn't like he wasn't affected though. He loved babies. Louis always teased him about how his face lit up 'bright enough to light the whole of London, babe'.

Harry had always wanted a baby, many babies, since he knew what a baby even was.

Sometimes he would meet with one of his friends who had had a baby and when he would come home, he would spend nearly an hour telling Louis all about the baby.

"It likes me, I think, like, it giggled when I made a face at it. She's so adorable, Lou, I want one so bad!" he would say.

They would usually go into the bedroom and try to give Harry what he wanted immediatly afterwards.

A few days after they had found out, Harry had been with a few of his friends. He'd needed to get away from the heavy atmosphere of their house for a little while. One of the girls hadn't been able to find a baby sitter and had brought her six-month old little boy.

She knew how much Harry liked babies and he hadn't told anyone there about Louis' infertility. She handed the little boy to him.

Harry had held him for a few seconds, swallowing hard and trying not to cry.

"You're so good with him. You're going to be the best daddy whenever you and Louis have your own," she had cooed.

Harry had stood, handed the baby back to her and stormed out without another word.