"Here's your monthly brenbucks" Brendon laughed manically whilst handing over the unusable money to his hostage
"...I don't want to offend you but,this is 10 brenbucks short, why?" The tall captive asked, words laced with fear.
"BECAUSE FUCK YOU THATS WHY! NOW GO TEND TO MY CROPS, IMBECILE!" Brendon screamed at the poor man
"Yes sir :(" dallon said stuffing his brenbucks into his brenbank (a jar with the label "fuck u dalldo") he changed into his farming clothes and Went to tend to the crops.
After seven hours of dallon harvesting the weed crops™ in the scorching LA heat for his captor Brendon, Brendon finally allowed him to come inside.
"HMM THE WEED CROPS™ LOOK NICE ENOUGH...FOR NOW! NOW GO ORGANIZE SPENCERS SHOES AND COMB OUT IANS HAIR THEN COME ROLL FOURTY JOINTS FOR ME, BITCH" Brendon shouted
Dallon dejectedly climbed the stairs to the second floor of the LA home that he's grown to hate. Dallon knocked on Spencer's door
"Spencer, Brendon ordered me too help you organize shoes"
Spencer opened the door and scrunched his face in disgust "ha help me? No you're doing it for me...Brendon didn't abduct you to help around here, he stole you away so you can do everything" Spencer replied snidely drawing out the last of everything
"Sorry" dallon said dropping to the floor picking up shoes
"D A L L O N WHAT DID I TELL YOU LAST TIME?" Spencer almost screamed
"Um, don't make direct eye contact"
"NO, YOU LOUT! DONT TOUCH MY SHOES WITHOUT GLOVES ON, I DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR PEASANT HANDS HAVE TOUCHED? YOU MIGHT HAVE TOUCHED BRENDON AND I DONT WANT *MY* SHOES TO HAVE CHLAMYDIA"
"I'm sorry spencer" dallon said putting on gloves and returning to work
"That's sir.spencer to you" spencer said throwing a shoe at dallons head
After 2 hours dallon was done organizing spencers shoes and combing out ians hair, now all he had to do was roll 40 joints for master Brendon he thought.
"SPENCER, IAN...AND DALLON I GUESS GET DOWN HERE I HAVE NEWS!" Brendon called
"What the fuck do you want" Ian asked
"Yea, I was going to call Ryan Ross and tell him he's a dick!" Spencer chimed
"NO, NO TIME FOR THAT! WE HAVE BEEN INVITED TO PETE WENTZ' GAY BAR GRAND OPENING!" Brendon said excitedly
"I'm going to fuck Pete wentz!" Spencer said confidently
"Not if I do first" Ian shrieked
"MAYBE PETE WENTZ IS MORE INTERESTED IN ME SEEING AS HE ADDRESSED THE LETTER TO ME!"
"So, that doesn't matter he invited all of us! We're all on the letter" spencer said angrily
"Well my name was first!"
Dallon having rolled half the joints by now had only one question
"Wait...we're all invited? I can come?" Dallon asked timidly
"Ha you wish" Ian answered boisterously
"NOW NOW IAN I SUPPOSE HE CAN COME..." Spencer and ians faces were horrified "IF AND ONLY OF HE FINISHES THIS LIST OF T H I N G S!" Brendon chortled while pulling out a list from his back pocket. Handing it to dallon Brendon said "BETTER GET TO WORK YOU HAVE ONLY 5 HOURS UNTIL MY LIMO PICKS US UP!"
Dallon read over the list, it would take him all day to complete this list he thought
"NOW SPENCER AND IAN GO UPSTAIRS AND MAKE YOURSELVES LOOK GOOD BUT NOT BETTER THAN ME!" Brendon called out
"Pete wentz would never want to fuck you anyways" spencer sneered as he walked by dallon.
Dallons hopes were crushed and was on the verge of crying. It had been 5 hours and he hadn't finished Brendon's list
"OH NO LOOKS LIKE DALLON HERE CANT JOIN US TO PETES GAY BAR TONIGHT, SORRY NOT SORRY, FUCK YOU" Brendon said before walking out the door with spencer and Ian in tow whilst they laughed hysterically.
Now that they were gone dallon decided that now was a good time to cry, as he held his head in his hands and sobbed he heard a quiet tinkeling noise.
"who...who's here?" Dallon asked still not looking up
"I'm your um fairy god daddy?" A slow deep Voice rang out
"W-what?" Dallon said looking up to see a tall man in an ill fitting sparkly pink dress with smudged red eyeliner lining his eyes.
"Get up, dallon, I'm going to use magic and take you to petes gay bar? Okay" the fairy god daddy spoke
"I-YES Please help! But first do you have a name?" Dallon asked the man
"Well, yea it's josh dun" the before nameless Josh said
"Thank you so much Josh dun I owe you my life" dallon said his eyes wide and his smile
"Yea okay whatever, now you need something to wear..." Josh twirled a wand around and miraculously changed dallons clothes from old panic! Merch and are you nasty shorts to that nice black shirt and pants. "Now you also need a ride..." He twirled his wand that looked a lot like a baguette, and produced Brent Wilson. and a hippie van from one of Brendon's joints. As great full as dallon was he was questioning why Brent Wilson was there. As if Josh was reading his mind he said
" Brents going to drive you, your are not driving yourself to Pete wentz' gay bar!"
"Wow thank you so much Josh, let's go Brent !" He said preparing to hop in the car
"Not so fast..." Josh flicked his want and out of thin air appeared a pair of sunglasses!
"Make sure you keep these on so Brendon won't recognize you as fast, and remember the magic will ware off at 12 midnight! Be back here by then!"
Brent dropped dallon off at petes gay bar and promised to wait out front until it was time to leave. Dallon stepped into the bar, and was stunned at the amount of rainbow paraphernalia covering the room.
"Looks pretty nice huh?" A short emo man said to him
"Oh yes, it looks very nice" he replied looking down and realizing he was talking to THE Pete wentz!
"So would you like to dance?"
"I would love to!" Dallon said while Pete dragged him into the centre of the room. After what seemed like minutes dallon heard a voice ring out "L A S T C A L L"
"Pete when is last call?" Dallon Asked terrified
"Oh 12 I think"
"OH MY GOD I have to go I'm so sorry Pete, I had so much fun tonight" dallon said starting to make his way to the door
"Wait I didn't catch your name!" Pete called after him.
But dallon didn't hear as he exited the building, running down the stairs he dropped his sunglasses on the last step.
" LETS GO" dallon yelled as he approached the car
Dallon in the front seat turned around to see Pete wentz holding dallons sunglasses in his hands looking sadly at them. I would die to go back and tell him my name dallon thought sadly.
Dallon arrived home and Brent Wilson and the car turned back into the joint they once were. Dallon walked down the stairs to his basement cell of a room and cried himself to sleep knowing he would never see Pete wentz again.
"WAKE THE FUCK UP DALLON SOME OF US HERE WOULD LIKE A MORNING HAND JOB AND TO BE TOLD THEY ARE WAY OUT OF RYAN ROSS' LEAUGE" dallon heard Brendon shout down. Once dallon got upstairs preparing himself for the emotional mess that is Brendon Urie there was a knock at the door.
"Pete? What are you doing here?" Brendon asked?
" hi do you know who these might belong to?" Pete asked holding out dallons sunglasses.
Brendon turned to scream at dallon as he knew he had seen dallon wearing those at the gay bar last night.
" nope sorry Pete!" Brendon replied hysterically and shoving dallon out of petes line of sight
"Hey Brendon? Who was that? That you just pushed?" Pete asked curiously
"SPENCER I JUST PUSHED SPENCER!"
"No, you didn't spencer isn't that tall" Pete said shoving his was in
"You ! These are yours!" Pete said running up to dallon and holding him in a warm embrace
"oh, yea, I wanted to tell you last night but I had to leave" dallon explained as spencer Walked down
"FUCK YOU DALLON it's all your fault I didn't get to fuck Pete wentz!" Spencer said storming right back upstairs
"THIS IS REAL FUCCEN CUTE BUT DALLON CANT LEAVE HE DOESNT HAVE ENOUGH BRENBUCKS AND I NEED HIM HERE" Brendon screamed
"Sorry Brendon but I think this is love" Pete said quietly
"I think so 2" dallon followed
"WHY DO THEY ALWAYS LEAVE ME" Brendon screamed and slid down the wall crying
"Should we go, dallon?" Pete asked
"Yes, please" dallon said
"I HATE ALL OF YOU! I HOPE YOU GET MY CHLAMYDIA! AND NEVER GET ONE MILLION BRENBUCKS!
I HATE HATE HATE YOU DALLON! I WANTED TI FUCK PETE WENTZ ITS JUST NOT FAIR" Brendon screeched while trying to throw punches at Pete wentz
"Good bye Brendon" dallon and Pete said in unison
From there Pete and dallon lived happily ever after (and dallon did eventually fuck Pete wentz)
