tough luck :: josuke x reader

20 :: isn't this illegal?!

A look of shock goes onto Josuke's face, and then he falls over. You gasp when you see several footprints on his back.

"God, are you alright?!" You panic. He only responds with a dry croak. Spotting an IV tube hanging freely from the bag, you subtly hand it to him. "Drink this," you whisper, before walking towards the bed.

You grip onto the man's shoulders. "Alright, you little fuck, what the hell did you do to him?" He only smiles. "My name's Yuya, geez. I'm just borrowing his nutrients so I can replenish myself, that's all!" An involuntary growl escapes your throat. "Wanna find out how many punches I can throw in a minute?"

One of his three fan girls - the red haired one - grabs you by your collar and pulls you back. She jabs a stick into your stomach. "The hell you think you're doing, you Filthy American?"

That's what set it off. Filled with 100% pure unfiltered fury, you grip her collar and lift her up, then grab the other two with the world's hands.

You hold up a fist. "This right here's a pound of pure, heated American beef. Which one of you wants to taste it FIRST?!" You found yourself ending the sentence screaming.

They cower under your voice. "We're sorry!" You growl back, "Sorry won't cut it!"

The one with red hair (and a terrible dye job) was directly in your line of sight, so you punched her as hard as your possibly could. Feeling her teeth crack under your bare knuckle was a great stress reliever.

The other two screamed and braced themselves, but you whipped around and grabbed the man on the bed by his hair and raised your fists and the world's. "There's still some leftover meat!!"

"Wait a second, y/n." You whip around. Josuke's alright again.

"I can throw about 60 punches in a minute," starts Josuke. "But if I'm close to my target, it gets all the way up to 300 punches per minute.

"And I," you step in, "can throw around 70 punches MAX every five minutes if I'm far away. Or if I'm close and I'm pissed, I can land over 500 punches per minute. And I'm beyond fucking pissed."

Josuke traces a finger along the bedrail. "So, Yuuya, do the math: how many punches will you receive in the next minute?"

"W-wait!" He sweats nervously. "You wouldn't beat an injured person, right?"

You and Josuke exchange glances. "Yes, that's correct," Josuke says. "That's why I've healed you already." Yuuya looks a little surprised and moves around to see that yes, he's healed.

"So, how many punches?" You ask.

"800?" Cowers Yuuya.

"WAY MORE THAN THAT!"

"DORARARARARARARARA!"
"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!"

Yuuya flies out the window, more injured than he was before. You and Josuke high-five.

"Aren't we such a good team?"

"Totally."
---
Turns out, Yuuya had Rohan trapped in that tunnel as his personal nutrient slave. You and Josuke went back and healed him up, but of course, the proud idiot was still ungrateful about it.

You both walked home together that night. As the sidewalk lamps shone on the pavement, Josuke and you talked about the day.

"You were pretty badass, if you ask me," you say. He shakes his head. "Naw. You were way better." That makes you blush.

"Ah wait, speaking of which--" Josuke rips the 2nd button out of his jacket and places it in your hand. "I was meaning to give you this earlier."

"Why did you do that?" You ask, looking at his jacket worryingly. Josuke only smiles. "Here in Japan, if a guy likes a girl a lot, he gives them the second button to their jacket."

"Why?"

"It's the button closest to their heart."

Even though it was a simple gesture, Your entire face goes tomato red as you roll the button underneath your fingertips. "Aw, Josuke..." he laughs a little before pulling you into a hug, you more than eager to hug back. You bury your face into his chest when he says, "I love it when your face goes all red like that."

"I and I love YOU, you delinquent."

"I love you too, you sukeban."
---
A/N
Heh. Minor Fluff.

-Mother