His blind trust.

Would no could anybody ever love me?

I am so tired of being alone,I want someone to love me,to accept me but who would want a damaged person like me.Maybe its time for me to learn and accept that I will forever be alone.
Sitting here , looking for my friend Mish,I feel the cold creeping in. This year the winter is extra cold and the rain wont stop.
Why I do feel the strong need to ask permission, the way I think and the way my body react is changing.

Maybe I could go with her to that new Club, the one that is a BDSM kink club.I don't know much about the lifestyle and the meaning other than the equipment they use and the pleasure that comes with it. I have watch a view videos and it
Its not like I have never had sex beforeits just watching this videos makes me feel things....

I've had sex with several men in the past but none of them made me feel like this, it's like I am a virgin all over again.

Knocking on the door.
Come in Mish, I am just watching these videos, dont have much else to do. Whats up with your day?

Alex I know your hurting but you cant just stay in this room forever. You just go to work , come home, go to the gym and eat and sleep. You need to forget about that asshole. What he did was wrong and you deserve so much more. Dont let him steal more from you than he already has.
But Mish it hurts so much and maybe he was right , maybe I am this pathetic damaged person that no one wants....
Stop it! Stop doing that, he is wrong, you know it. I wish I could kick his ass and beat him to a pulp and put turpintine on his eyebrows and ooooh he makes me so mad, Mish yells.
He grabs me kissing my on my forehead and just hugging the life out of me, hmmm he smells so nice, I wonder where he is of to. Hang on what is he wearing?
Hey Mish, I love you to bits but what are you wearing ? Are you going to a costume party or something?
Ha ha your always a comedian , Alex. Hey why dont we get you dressed, fixup your hair and you come with me. I am going to that new BDSM club, Ice. The one where they hive the best parties, have the finest men serving you but also the best cocktails. Not to mention the men are to die for; he says while faking a heart atrack.

"I know you have been interested in BDSM for a while now and last night confirms it" he says. I blushed.
"Okay I am interested in BDSM, s-so what"
I replied.
"Don't tell me you've never envisioned being tied up, completely dominated, helpless."he ask.

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Hello There!

Thanks for taking an interest in my book! Keep reading and don't be afraid to leave any tips or comments ;)This is my first story. Plz comment to help me get better and fix it. If you guys think I should change something please comment and tell me.