Heartbreak? I've heard a million tales about heartbreak. About the love of their life leaving. About the darkness they felt after they left. About the love they lost and never felt again. About the empty relationships they had after. Call it what you want, but love.. love is torture. Nothing more, nothing less. It's been a long time since I last felt loved and now here I am. Standing in front of you with nothing to offer but my life and what I have to say about it. Thank you to those who have stayed with me through it all, thank you to those who have stayed up all those late nights worrying. My heart is racing and my hands are a shaking mess. I want to start from the beginning. The very beginning. The start of it all. The origin. Where my life went downhill. It's all a dramatic downfall of events. The downfall of Kassandra Torres.
What a tragic story!
I don't think so. I am nothing. Thats what I have learned. I've taught myself to think of myself as nothing.
Silence drapes her.
I can't see why I'm always quiet. My mind is actually the loudest thing I've ever heard. It screams thing that even I don't understand. It loves to make my heart clouded. It makes me choke on the thick air that surrounds it.
Why is she so sad?
I ask myself that question a lot too, you're not the only one. I don't understand why I'm so miserable. I guess it's the messed up things that have happened to me. I think it's me. I think it's you. I think it's the world. I think it's God. I think it's ME.
I hate myself, I love myself
So the tale is told, I love myself. Sometimes I'm the hottest and prettiest person in the world, I'm the star, I can do everything. I am the best in the world and no one can beat me. No one can touch me. I'm on a high. I'm daring and a champion. But I'm not. I hate everything about me. I hate my physical self, my emotional self, and every other part of me that exists. Why am I so confusing?
Why are you still here?
I don't know.. I really don't know. I ask myself that question too. It's hard to look at myself without wanting to immediately look away. Help me. Im begging you. I am not a poet, I am not a wonderful writer. The trees sway when a light breeze hits them while a hurricane rages in my heart, in my mind.
But I guess that's all I have to say..
