Tears roll down my face as I yawn, lying in bed waiting for sleep to take hold of me. This is how I have spent the last few hours, as the day slowly approaches bringing forth it's daily stresses. 'Why must sleep be so difficult?' I think to myself, wondering why I am still awake at 12:30 in the morning. Defeated, I take to writing, figuring that I might as well channel my feelings into some form of creative medium. This is how I spend most nights, listening to music as I lay restlessly in my bed. My mind fixed on the day ahead of me, I can't help but think of all the things that I must do. Between work, school, anxiety, medication, grades, custodial arrangements, and trying to act "normal", I have no time to relax, and when I do I am still unable to. It's as if all of my stress, anger, sadness, pain, and fear is building inside of me, and I can't release it. I'm always trying to make everyone else happy, often forgetting to think of myself.
(I realize now that this is becoming more of a stream of consciousness rather than a short story/poem, but oh well)
Why do emotions have to be so annoying? All I want to do is sleep, but I can't stop feeling all these different things. Every few minutes I feel tears well up in my eyes, then they are gone as quickly as they appeared. That momentary sadness turns into anger at myself and the world, then finally turns into overall (unexplainable feeling) before starting over again.
I often think to myself "Why couldn't I have been born normal?"
My mind is getting scrambled as I write this, so I guess I'll end it here. I might write more within the hour though, so I guess we'll see what happens.
