If things could go back to how they used to be..
I'd probably be happy
but consumed with all the lies you were feeding me.
Your secrets would've been revealed anyway
And I'd be sitting in the same boat..
Just sinking deeper into the ocean
Drowning with your fake love and a perfectly carved smile;
only to have it wiped off my face,
When all that you've done
has finally come to light.
Questioning myself "Was it ever real",
Rather than "Where did we go wrong",
And I can't even tell which one is worse.
So I'm sitting here thinking to myself "What Next"
And "Oh this again.. Figured",
When all I should be thinking about is the empire we could've built.
~~~
And you've got me questioning,
Every waking moment we've spent together,
Every memory we've carved into the pavements,
And slowly
The pieces began to fit.
So continuously, I began to ask myself
Was it ever real?
Was I ever enough?
Did you even love me?
And so I'm beating myself in the head
Because all this time I've
Invested in you,
All the good friendships broken,
All the time spent focusing on you,
Instead of my work and family
Has all gone to waste.
And of course I could blame you,
For being my worst mistake yet,,
But I won't.
I blame myself.
~~
I blame me.
And so, the boat sinks deeper,
And deeper,
And deeper,
And now it's drowning.
~
But maybe,
Just maybe,
I'll be the Rose of Titanic.
