Their Firsts

The first time he told HER that he loved her was the happiest day of his life, at that moment. They had gone on a picnic in the fields, surrounded by the red grass. He had packed all her favorite things, wanting to make it the perfect moment. He had loved her for a while, almost fifty years but his nerves had kept him from saying anything. Around the other Time Ladies, he was what she called a Casanova, always flirting back with the women but with her, he was like a bumbling idiot, constantly stumbling over his words, especially when she smiled. But that day was perfect. He had finally told her and in return, she had admitted her own feelings towards him. That had left him grinning like a moron for weeks.

The first time he was the reason SHE was crying was the day they’d gotten into their first major argument. It was a day he’d never forget, one that was seared into his mind as one of his biggest regrets. The looks and names had started to bother her, and she had spiraled into something like a depression. At first he had visited her to try and cheer her up but when that hadn’t worked, he swore to go after those people, the statement that triggered the argument. He was being irrational and she was trying to explain. In the end, he had said something terrible, something that he’d always regret. That was the day she told him not to come back, that she never wanted to see him again.

The first time he left HER was shortly after his 236th birthday. He had gone years without seeing her, still feeling guilty for what he had said. He did however, go to see her before he left. He couldn’t leave without seeing her once more. When they did finally meet, she gave him one hell of a slap, yelling at him for his idiocy and absence. It wasn’t until he said he was leaving did she sober up, sitting in the grass and looking up at him. He wanted her to go with him but he knew she had promised her parents she wouldn’t leave. Before the argument, they had often spoken about travelling together, seeing the universe and helping people. He wanted to share his experiences with her but he couldn’t and leaving her was harder for him than leaving behind his parents and siblings.

The first time he saw HER after his trips, she gave him another slap. This one was for dying on her. Even though it hurt, he was happy to see that she still cared. He had told her everything he’d done, even going on to tell her about his short visit to Earth, something that hurt her quite a bit. It didn’t do much to deter his excitement and happiness. Just being near her after those years apart was enough. But he had returned with something, a small shell from the beaches of Caldovar. He had engraved the first initials of their names, their true names, on the inside. Just seeing her beam was enough for him.

The first time he asked HER to marry him was a shock to them both. They had gone for a walk in the fields, the two reminiscing of their years at the Academy. He was trying to get her to remember all the fun times they’d had, only to run into her cousin, a man who acted more brotherly than anything. The man had wanted to know what they were doing so far away from civilization when he had to open his mouth and say it was a surprise for her. He had been thinking about it for a while, already knowing they were each other’s Ame Soeur but he wanted to do something public, something to show them just who she was to him, that they couldn’t make her feel any less than what she was. As it turned out, she agreed, only for them to run away from the alter.

The first time he held THEIR child was the third happiest day of his life. He was a father, something he’d wanted to be, especially for her. Granted this would keep him in Gallifrey until the child was old enough but he didn’t care. He had a beautiful wife, a wonderful family and now the perfect combination of both her and him. It was an adventure, one that he was willing to stay home for. There was no way he was going to leave her to deal with their child alone. That wouldn’t be right. He wanted to be there, for her and the baby and a part of him knew he needed it too.

The first time he was forced away from HER was during the Time War. He was called to fight, doing so dutifully even if he did not want to. She was worried about him; he could feel it within himself. But she did not argue. They had a child and while he was away, she had to stay strong. The child was very much like his father, in more ways than either of them could count, meaning he was a handful. He remembered kissing her, and then the child, before leaving to join the ranks of soldiers.

The day he learned THEIR son had been ripped from her, sent to fight in the War, he had been livid. Against orders, he had left the lines and had returned home to her. He found her, huddled in a corner in the child’s room, a wreck. He could feel her anguish; especially after learning he had been killed. The flame that was usually lit within him had died, learning that his only child had been ripped from the Universe at the age of 167. That was when he began to change, becoming a man of rage instead of the man he had always been.

When he found that SHE had been taken he was worse than when he found out about their son. Yes, his child was important to him, but SHE was his Ame Soeur, the other half to his soul. And the fact he couldn’t feel or hear her made him fifteen times worse than how he had been when he heard of his child. She was all he had left and with her gone, he was truly alone. His family did not matter to him for his sole reason for living had become her. He told himself he was fighting for her, so that she would never have to cower in fear again, especially not from the Daleks. He knew they were looking for her, their intent to use her as a weapon. He also knew that had also become Rassilon’s plan. With her gone, he had nothing to lose, nothing to live for. He went for the Moment, fully intent on ending the War and taking himself with it. That was when he went from The Doctor to The Warrior.