Becoming Normal Again

chapter 2

Chapter 2:

At five until four I went to find Jake, Abby and Kat were following me to make sure that I found him safely and was not alone. Under my mother's orders I was not to be alone at any point in time spent at the mall. We entered back into the food court and there stood Jake right where I had first seen him when I was looking up to see what time it was. It was as if it was the same moment over again, the same smile, the same lazy confident stance with his hands in his pockets. I turned to Kat and Abby.

"Thanks guys but I think I have got it from here and I will call you both when I get home."

They smiled at me and we all hugged good bye. I was really glad to have my friends back, never realizing how much I depended on my friends to keep me afloat until now. We parted ways and I walked over to Jake. He smiled at me as I walked up. "Ready?" he asked.

"Yes I am." I said as we turned towards the exit walking at the same pace.

"Did you girls have fun shopping?" he asked.

"Yeah, we all got some bathing suits for spring break and some shorts." I said as I pointed out were my small blue Nissan was. I unlocked the doors as we got closer and the warm sun beat down on us.

"That's good." He said as we got in the car.

"Yeah, you can pick a radio station." I said. "And where do you live?"

He laughed. "Take a left and the light and then go down to Fourth street and take a right and my house is off that road but you should probably drop me off and the corner and then drive a little further down."

My heart dropped. "Why?"

"I told my mom I was going to work out and if I come home normal and not breathing heavily she will think something was wrong." He said and then continued. "I didn't mean that about your personality at all. You seem very nice."

I laughed. "Thanks... I guess."

"Here is fine to stop. If you drive up about five blocks we can say good bye." He said with a bright smile.

I could feel the red coming to my cheeks. "okay."

"See you in five blocks, J." He said before shutting the door.

There was my trigger. I knew it and I felt it coming on. I tried to keep driving but I was already losing it. I could see it happening. I could see the dust road and feel the bumps under my tires. I clenched the wheel to stay with reality but it wasn't helping I saw the stop light change colors and as it happened I was up on the curb and it scratched the bottom of my car.

I didn't care. I put the break on and sat in my seat catching my breath as I came in and out of reality. I could see Jake running back to the car.

"Jacee!" he yelled. This woke me up. I realized what I had done. This was not happening again. I started to cry as Jake reached the car, ripping my door open. "Are you okay?"

I couldn't form sentences as I hyperventilated in my seat. He stared at me for a second and then pulled me from the car, hugging me next to my car. "you are okay...you're fine. Jacee breath." He soothed.

I still couldn't breath. The flashback wasn't going to go away right now and I knew it. I could still see my dad in the driver's seat and feel the bumps on the road. I was afraid that Jake knew. I pulled away from him. "Do you want to come inside for a bit?"

I smiled at him. "I'm fine. I just had a flashback to when..." I took a breath. "My dad died."

He looked at me and for a second I thought he was going to mention it but he smiled sadly at me. "I'm not letting you drive anywhere until you calm down. Get in the car, I'll drive you to my house for a bit."

I signed and got in the car. "This is ridiculous."

"No it's not because you just had a panic attack in front of me and I'm not going to be a bad friend to someone I just met." He said as he drove us down the street.

"But won't you get in trouble with your mom?" I asked feeling bad and unable to shake the feeling of panic.

"She might not even be home and if she is then I will make something up." He said as we pulled into his driveway. His house was painted a light brown color and had big bay windows and doors that were painted a dark green color. I took a deep breath as he turned off the car.

"I don't want to get you in trouble because of me."

"I promise you won't Jacee." He got of the car and stood by the door waiting for me. I got out if the car and followed suit. As we walked in his foyer I noticed the polished wood floors and the white walls. Then I saw it. The doctorate that was hung across from the mirror we stood in front of. Dr. Towns....