Awkward

Diary entry one

Swiftly, the bow smoothly produces a vigorous sound and deteriorates as the piece ends. I could feel myself getting
starry eyed in amazement, my cheeks popping out as I smile goofily. There's Bryce for you, the orchestra teacher's favorite, and for a good reason too! He's talented, hardworking, competitive in a healthy way(unlike me!), and passionate with everything he does. That's just another reason to admire his lovely existence .

^Bryce, looks like an ordinary guy huh?
~
Hey Diary, I'm Judith the most awkward girl in all of 9th grade, and I will let out all my sentiments about him here, since I don't have the guts to talk or even stare at him too long. Sure, call me pathetic, but you would probably do the same to someone as vibrant as Bryce! Alas I stand here listening to "Creep" by Radiohead, because it accurately depicts my life whilst I'm scribbling my unorganized thoughts. "Couldn't look you in the eye, You're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry" Couldn't relate more Radiohead, he's truly something special to my heart. Indeed I'm not even the tiniest bit courageous, but at least I'm not afraid to fall in love. I stumble with my bow clumsily bouncing off my strings, I have no idea how he makes it look so easy.  I'm a second violin, and he's first violin so I sit on the other side of the room. Of coarse that doesn't stop me from looking at him and feeling jealous about his ability to be practically perfect. Meanwhile, my teacher constantly corrects me. "Play louder, keep the tempo as Allegro, that's a low B, count the rests, you must shift there on measure 34, use fourth finger", she barks. Her voice constantly bangs in my head, I joined orchestra to find serenity in music, not the common remarks! So, if my self esteem feels lower than usual, I stare at Bryce. I remember why I love music, why I want to continue to be alive to create music, why I want to erase my scars, and most importantly, why I love him♡

Thanks for listening, Judith Mena