Memoirs

Prologue

It all starts with a dream.

A vivid imaginative instance created by my mind as it shifts through old memories, sorting them carefully as my eyelids remain glued shut throughout the experience. Bright colors form and expand around me, the temporary blur eventually clearing just enough for me to get a visual concept of my surroundings. There is a man standing directly front of me, intertwining our fingertips as we hold eye contact. There are infinite trees, and we become lost within the depths of the woods that surround us. The sun has began its descent into the sky, now almost halfway hidden beneath the horizon. The color of the sky cannot begin to be compared to the beauty of his eyes, however. Deep shades of emerald fade into sapphire, staring back at me intensely. Within his eyes is an undiscovered universe, speaking in silent volumes, a melody that lures me in and keeps me here. Holding every ounce of my attention in the palm of his hands.

"Did you hear what I said?" He asks softly, eyes softening as he rubs the pad of his thumb over the back of my hand. I am captivated by his voice, words gently falling from his plump pink lips before floating through the air between us. He bats his eyelashes as he blinks, casting shadows down his defined cheekbones. The wind picks up around us and I shiver slightly, unable to break eye contact as he notices and instinctually moves closer to me. Our proximity allows for each minty exhale he breathes to fan out onto my face. I shake my head, trying to focus on his words rather than his presence. "I'm sorry, could you repeat it."

He lets out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. "Always in the clouds, angel." His eyes trail down to glance at my lips, disconnecting one of our hands to cup the side of my face delicately. His thumb runs over my bottom lip, parting it from my top one. Time suspends itself as we stand there, seconds expanding endlessly as the tension that has formed between us continues to build.

Then his soft lips are on mine, pulling me into him so that our chests are pressed firmly together. One hand remains on my face while the other goes around my waist, holding me against him. My skin buzzes at his touch, and I feel light and feathery. My hands snake under his coat, trailing over his back before hugging him just as tightly to me. The muscles in his back flex under my fingertips as he shifts his shoulders slightly, my hands roaming. Our lips move in sync as I become completely infatuated by the man in front of me. My pulse flutters as my stomach does flips, thoughts colliding clumsily around my mind at the thought of him and I here together. I am flooded with pure infatuation and bliss, and I know that if he never pulls away from me that we would surely stand here intertwined like this forever.

And then I feel him slowly evaporating underneath my fingertips as I desperately grab onto the fabric of his shirt, balling my hands into fist. The smell of pine and spices and coconut shampoo begins to fade, along with the beautiful scenery around me. Everything disappears slowly, and then it is gone at once like it was never there at all.

I wake up in a frenzy, gripping my sheets roughly and blinking several times.

It is always the same dream, constantly repeating itself each night for the past month. When I awaken it comes back to me in bits and pieces, obscuring together discordantly. As the dream continues to persistently overtake my unconscious thought, the reoccurrence begins to align itself in my mind. I begin to memorize each second of it. My ears can recall the low resonance of the man's words as they tumble from his chest. I can see his alluring eyes drawing me in, a deep green that stares into the bottom of my soul. The feeling of his soft hands caressing my skin gently, both of us desperately aching to be closer to one an other. I become accustomed to the steady beating concealed within my ribcage. The goosebumps that raise over my skin at his careful touch. The way my eyelids flutter shut as the mere thought of him puts me into the deepest of a trance.

This mystery man has overtaken my dreams in an endless cycle, relentlessly forcing himself into my mind in my now conscious state. Sleep becomes a close acquaintance, providing me with this peculiar escape to my serene alternate  reality. A special parallel that allows me to exist as someone else, my troubles temporarily dissolving away as I become void of all things dreary. Existing in a constant continuum of this extraordinary moment, engraving itself onto the insides of my eyelids.

I do not know who he is. I do not know where he came from. I am just horribly aware of the ache in my chest as I yearn to be closer to him again.