One day Murdoc makes a deal with Satan and learns that if he wants to get the bass from him he has to let a demon stay in his house. Luckily the demon he gets assigned isn't too bad, even Satan himself says he has no idea how Stuart, the demon, became one. He reads off his file, it saying that the worst thing that Stuart had ever done is steal a few pieces of candy from some girl when he was very young. Apparantly the "poor fuck", according to Satan hadn't even masturbated or had sex before.
Murdoc accepts anyway.
So Stuart, a small, rather cute boy with tiny nubby horns, blue hair, and no eyes shows up at Murdoc's place after a bit.
He looks at him for a minute, "How the fuck..."
He gives him a confused look. "Wot?"
"How in the unholy hell did you survive the way in?"
"Wot do yew mean?" He seems confused. Murdoc notices his missing teeth, which make him even cuter somehow.
"... Shut up, go lay on that couch, and count to 100,000,000."
"...Okay." He lays on the couch. "Your human traditions are weird." He starts counting.
"It's not a tradition, it's a way to keep you out of my way." He says blankly, he starts to walk around doing random things.
He sticks his head through the wall after getting finished because he's practically a ghost and only Murdoc can see, hear, or feel him. "Sir, I finished countin'. I fink I messed up on 40 though..." Murdoc notices Stuart's accent.
He jumps and throws a bottle at him, "UNHOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!"
It phases straight through his face, smashing against the wall. He moves out from inside the wall and looks at it. "...Yew made a mess, sir."
"DONT DO THAT I HAD A HEART ATTACK!!!"
"Sorry, sir..." He looks down at the floor.
He breathes heavily.
He continues looking at the floor.
"Do 500,000,000 push-ups over there."
"Buh I can' do dat many..."
"Then do it until you pass out."
He nods a bit, going to do it. After about an hour Murdoc finds him lying prone on the floor.
He just keeps being Murdoc.
Once all the chores, cleaning and such mostly, are all done, Murdoc notices that Stuart's still on the floor.
He sighs and jabs him in the side with his boot.
He's moved a bit but he doesn't do anything. Murdoc's phone rings.
He answers, "Wot?"
It's Satan. "Hey, I'll have to send that bass through a portal. It'll be out by tomorrow. Oh, and I almost forgot, Stuart's stay could be temporary or permanent, but I need an answer of which you want by next week, and, well, you can't really go back on your choice. Schedueling down here's crazy right now, I cant take big changes like that since Hell's being renovated."
"Shit... Fine, he can stay forever..."
He hums slightly. "Got it. Didn't really know what place I was supposed to put him in anyway, so good choice. We're doing this thing where the worst people get sent to live in the Tier 3 area, and Stuart's not even bad enough to be a Tier 1, so I didn't really know where to put him. So, uh... have fun with your enchanted bass and sorta-demon. Oh, and about taking care of Stuart, since he's young, for a demon at least, it's not abnormal for him to pass out easily and then sleep for long periods of time. If it happens, as long as he's breathing and not passing out for no reason, it's no big deal. He'll be up in about an hour. Oh, and they sleep for about as long as a normal person when they're Stuart's age. He's about your age, actually. Which is weird, because you consider him an adult but to me he's like a toddler. I'm rambling... So, I'll see you next time you come by Hell. Bye." He hangs up after his tangent.
