I hurt.. I hurt so so much right now. People are telling me they care but I couldn't feel more alone.
I hurt emotionally, the pain of everything weighing down on me. School.. Oh god I think school is going to kill me as I can't cope with the stress plus the pressure I feel is pushed upon me at home and at school.
Then comes another issue. Home.. I can't cope with the same four walls any longer. I want adventure, to adventure into the world and be free but I can't because of school and responsibilities.
The pain I feel is killing me, I'm a fighter or so people say but how can I be a fighter when the cowards way out is always an option. Is it because I never choose it ?? Who knows. All I know is I can't push my pain on to other. On the ones I love, on the ones who care. This pain hurts so so much. I once was a blank canvas then I was full and now I'm fading once again but them thoughts are always in my mind.
I can say now there is no cowards way out.. It means that everything In this crap world has just got to much. I read something on a social media site a little while ago about angels and our scars.
People who wear scars are not weak, they are Angel who are fighting to return to their world and we shouldn't be sad to let them go. They are needed.. Their needed in the sky to watch over us to keep us safe and most importantly their in the sky so they may be happy. Happiness should always be taken into account before judging. I never judge people for what they do and I believe they should never judge others.
One cut numbs the rest takes it.. I will never make that mistake again but I'm not a fighter, I'm struggling to be the fighter people want.
I feel I can't make people happy, my main role in life is to keep others happy before myself and at the moment that is one that's breaking me. I can't keep others happy so I can't be happy myself. I want my friends and family happy so that I can then be happy but I can't at this moment.
