Strength (A Steve Rogers Tony Stark Love Story)

Then their was Bruce, hunched over, both arms crossed over his chest. His glasses reflecting the dirt being piled onto Peppers coffin. Tony could see the anger in his stance, the way he shifted back and fourth, bruce was angry. Angry that a friend had wrongfully died. Clump after clump and Bruce was loosing himself. Just before Tony could string a few comforting words his way, although Tony knew he would only choke on sobs, Clint wrapped an arm around Bruces shoulders, bringing him in. Initially Bruce had flinched but then very much so welcomed the embrace, calming almost instantly.

The last was Steve. He stood next to Natasha with his arm around her waist. Tony couldn't get a read on him, he honestly just hadn't spent enough time with Steve. Maybe the amount of not getting along had something to do with it. Steves strong, broad shoulders set square, blue eyes deep in thought. He had never met Pepper. Never. Pepper of course had wanted to meet Captain F*cking America but Tony wasn't having it. He took yet one more thing away from her. 

Brown eyes shifted over the tall muscular man. His side profile was impeccable. A strong jaw, perfectly  swept back hair. A real hero. 

Why was he even here? To taunt Tony on his past decisions? To scold and bother him? 

Tony squinted at the man across from him, being the all American hero. For the first time since Tony had met him he wasn't wrapped in his American flag costume, instead swapping for a form fitting jet black suit. But Tony kept going back to his eyes, something captivated him, something familiar... They reminded him of Pepper.... 

Then Steves eyes caught his. Tony was quick to look away, embarrassed to his core. He could feel Steves eyes burning against his skin. Feel him blaming Tony. Feel his thoughts penetrate him with pricking pain. Because they both knew that if Steve had been there, Pepper wouldn't be dead in a coffin Tony had chosen in one of his very recent drunk feuds, which had been occurring a lot more often lately. Tony couldn't handle the stare weighing him down, feeling him pushing at him, he snapped his head towards Steve with something short of a death glare. What he found wasn't what he thought he would. Steves eyes were soft, understanding, and f*cking pitying him. F*ck that. 0

Tony broke his gaze once more, unable to stop himself from rummaging through his pocket to grab his flask and drowning the liquid in a few gulps. He didn't bother putting it back in his pocket, his teary eyes stinging as he dropped it to the ground. 

No more piles of dirt were added to the now buried coffin. Silence swallowed him whole. Leaving him to drown in his thoughts, a new reality hitting him hard. He would never see his best friend again. The simple thing of just being in her presence. He had been thinking like an engineer, like he could fix this. Like this was some damn toy of his that had broken, no, this was Pepper. He would never feel her arms around his neck, her kiss to his lips. Never. She was gone and Tony had been the one to kill her. 

The minister had spoken the last of few words and together the group spoke, "May she rest in peace." He slowly made eye contact with Tony. Tony cringed, he had been dreading this moment. Having to go up in front of everyone and say a few words that were supposed to summarize two decades of friendship... of love. Like this would solidify it, make it whole and complete, like his words would finalise her resting in peace. 

Tony slowly walked over, dragging his roughed up sneakers against the dirt. Shakign the ministers hand, thanking him silently before taking his place. It took a moment for him to gather himself, breathing deeply his body writhing with tension. Then he looked up. Red brimmed eyes glanced over all the solemn faces in front of him. He ran his fingers nervously against his flask.