When my best friend Jake texted me saying he was coming to visit I made sure to hide the cut marks on my arms. I told him I would never do it again. But since he has been gone more troubles have started where I had to just do it. I feel like is makes all the pain and sadness go away a little.
I pull on one of my pull overs and head out to the park to meet him. Smiling at the thought of seeing him again. When he told me he only thought has me as a friend cause a rumor was going around school saying I liked him. I didn't tell him the rumor was true. I thought maybe he would feel weird and not want to be friends anymore.
I cross the street smiling at a little girl laughing with her mother. The thoughts of when I was younger and laughing. Having fun, made me feel sadder. Those days are gone since my mom died and my dad starting hurting my little brother.
It got worse and I didn't know what to do but watch. at first it was just belts then it moved to things like knifes. Till one day I came home and saw him in the living room not moving. knowing he was dead. Gone living with my mom in heaven.
I ran away from home then leaving my dad. Living with my aunt. So now I don't know where my dad is. And I couldn't care less.
I see Jake over my the swings. I run and hug him. He lifts me of the ground and laughs. "Zoe I have missed you so much." I smile and pull my sleeves down more. "I have missed you too Jake."
We walk over to a picnic table. He sits on one of the benches and I sit on top of the table.
He looks up at me. " What's been up?"
I shake my head. "Nothing much. You know same stuff."
He smiles and climbs the tree above the picnic table. I think back to when we use to do this when we were kids.
"You coming up Zoe?"
I look up at him and smiles has he offers a hand to help me up. I grab it and one of my sleeves slide down. He sees the cuts on my arms and lets go of my arm. Jumping down from the tree.
"Zoe? Why?" He asked with a concern face
I pull my sleeve down and look down at the ground. "Its nothing. Just been feeling like I have no one that loves me. I mean my own aunt thinks I need to go to the crazy house cause of what she thinks I have done."
He puts a hand on my cheek making me look up at him. "No I love you Zoe and that isn't ever going to change."
I smile. "Yeah I know you do your a good friend and I hope that love never changes."
His hand moves down to my hand and he grabs it and sighs. "Well I love you more then a friend Zoe. I have always. Just been scared to say."
I look at him with a smile. "That's funny I have been feeling the same way. But I was scared to tell you how I felt. Didn't want to ruin our friendship."
He kisses my cheek. "Now you don't have to feel so alone. Cause you'll always have someone to love you and that will be me. And I am going to help you through this ok. No matter what." I nod knowing he will.
Cause I have finally learned that we all have our mistakes and do things to forget then. But they will always be there. Just need someone that loves you to get you through them and make them right.
