unconditionally, for you // lashton

one.

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september 6th, 2019

dear journal,
i saw him. him.
honey blonde messy curls draped upon his head effortlessly. beautiful.
i watched. watched as he rushed across the hallway,
of course, his friends surrounding him. everyone laughing. a ball of happiness; but how ?
how does one contain all of that happiness inside of them ?
someone who truly seems miserable.
are they ?-
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his writing was soon cut off by the sound of his mothers voice. he stood, letting out a pathetic groan whilst doing so, his matte black journal closing without effort from the lack of opening.
the spine still completely intact. not ruined. not destroyed. the young man usually went through two to three journals per year. always losing them, ripping them, dropping them, crying in them.
not that crying did much damage, other than crumple the papers. his tears brought too many memories, if kept, he would have everything flow back to him, like a waterfall in his mind.
he decided this time was going to be different. a journal dedicated to good times, a journal dedicated to nothing but happiness and mysterious thoughts.

"Ashton?" the young man heard the older lady's voice from down the stairs for the second time. his eyes rolled slightly, biting down on his lip to keep himself from snapping, the night before hadn't been the best for the boy. filled with getting yelled at and agitating people. even with the irritation, the last thing he wanted to do was to snap at his own mother.

he took a breath before speaking "Yes, mum ?" ashton nearly whispered, he knew that his mother was already standing outside of his door, ready to knock it down if he didn't answer her call the second time.

"calum's here to see you, sweetie." he heard the females fairly raspy voice from outside his door, just as he expected. it annoyed him how nosey his mum was, of course, as any other child with a supportive family, he loved her to death, he would do anything for her.  but, sometimes, he had those days where he just wanted to be alone, wanted to take a nice nap and sleep for a bit, she wouldn't allow that. she didn't get it.

the teen grunted tiredly in response, just to let her know he wasn't ignoring her voice, before throwing his legs over the bed and pulling a shirt on, a plain black t-shirt, to be specific. ashton stretched out his limbs and yawned, it was only 8:46am, so he didn't know why calum was here. he wasn't exactly an early bird.

the boy trudged over to his door and peeled his head out, meeting eyes with calum immediately. "hey, ash." the raven haired boy spoke, pushing past him gently and entering his room, plopping himself onto his full sized bed.
sometimes ashton thought that calum only came over to his place for his bed, it was bigger than his own, he was still stuck with a twin sized and his family wouldn't let him buy a new one since 'he was still growing', which was maybe in the slightest true, considering the boy was only seventeen. on the down side, he was nearly six foot four, meaning his feet hung off the edge of his own bed.

"hey, calum." ashton replied, taking a deep breath as he closed his journal, pushing it under his nightstand, where he kept it so his mother wouldn't find it and possibly look through it, which would ruin him. the short boy tugged at the hem of his t-shirt, looking down at his fingers.
the honey blonde was fairly sleepy, due to the fact that he had only gotten a small amount of sleep. he was still surprised by the visit calum was paying him, his usual, 1:00am to   11:00am on the weekends, must've not been used to this schedule, especially not if this was going to be a new daily for the older male. ashton doubted it would be, but who knew? calum was always surprising the boy.

as ashton waited for a response from the other, he fiddled mindlessly with his fingertips, humming a quiet song. after a couple of seconds, giving up on a real answer from calum, he spoke up "cal?" he said softly, crawling up to the head of the bed to where he was able to get a full view of the 'mans' face. "can we cuddle?" he whispered nervously.
although the two were used to cuddling with each other, ash got rather uncomfortable with himself whilst asking to cuddle, figuring that if calum didn't ask him himself, he probably wouldn't want to.

his ears caught calum let out a quiet cooing sound, a noise which made the smaller boy blush, "of course, ash." calum whispered, opening his arms up, which ashton gladly climbed into, moving around to get himself comfortable. his smooth legs that poked out of the end of his over-sized shirt pulled into his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees.

the younger boy hears calum let out a soft groan of content, the sound making him squirm a little. "i love you, cal." he murmured under his breath, his eyelashes fluttering before light hazel eyes disappeared beneath his eyelids.
he never did manage to catch calum whispering anything back to him, his body drifting off into a peaceful, warm sleep before he could even take another breath. 

the boys dreams throughout the nap were filled with absolute nothingness. which was unfortunate for the youngster.
he owned two journals, a 'diary', as his sister liked to call it, and a dream journal. he looked forward to dreams. an escape. sleep and writing; his two favourite things.
they were both eventful. although sleep can end with screaming and terror, he liked that. he liked the mystery. you go to sleep without knowing what your dreams with conclude of.
pitch black or colours?
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hey guys!
i dont know what this chapter is, but i hope it's a good starter.
i tried my best smh.
i'm going to attempt to make these chapters super long, so you guys don't read them in like two seconds, ive read books like that and it's annoying wowowow.
okay, anyways. i hope you enjoyed and i didn't completely bore you to death with my awful writing. i swear this will get better.
by the way, ashton is sixteen yrs old in this, hes the youngest out of all four of the boys, the rest of the will be included later in the story.
-a