One For Sorrow

Winning is only the same as losing

I ran down the rest of the corridors desperate for my early morning coffee; not wanting to wait a second longer for the rich taste to pass my lips. I had to ask a couple of times for directions until I found the kitchens. I smiled up at the old rusty sign and opened the doors below to explore inside.

I laughed as I heard singing as I entered. I saw man younger than me while frying some bacon.

‘She'll say I'm not so tough, just because I’m in love with an uptown girl. She’s been living in her white bread world. As long as anyone with hot blood can, and now she’s looking for a downtown man. That’s what I am!’

I heard the man scream to the radio in the background. I was about to laugh when the door behind me closed making the man turn to face me.

“Oh, hello sweet thing, I didn’t know I was expecting a pretty thing like you to come and visit. Oh man it must be my birthday! I forgot again, so tell me are you naughty or nice? He asked me confidently.

I laughed to myself. “The charming yet sweet Kevin, it’s nice to meet you, I’m a patient here named Brooke”. I introduced myself now leaning over a counter.

He smiled. “ Oh, crap sorry didn't realise you were a patient here but now coming to think of it I recognized you. You’re a friend of JJ’s am I right?” He asked me.

I nodded smiling up at him. He was quite an attractive guy I could see why JJ liked him. He was tall, dark haired and a well figured man. His characteristics were great he was funny, smart yet quirky at times. He would've been perfect for me but it's a shame he's not my type. There's something missing, I don't really know what but I like a zesty edge to a guy. I've only felt this once before with Mark but this guy standing in front of me defiantly hasn't got it.   

“Yeah, she’s always at my beckon call”. I smiled up at him once again.

“She’s my sweetest little thing. She's told me all about you and how you're her favourite patient and all”. He whispered to me as if it was a secret.

“Are you to dating or something?” I asked him.

“Is it that obvious to tell?” He laughed.

“Pretty much but I’m not one to tell. So, you’ll probably be asking why I’m here next. I’m just going to come out and say it; I want some coffee”. I spoke up.

“I’d love to darling but I can’t by policy unless you have permission”. He smiled and then turned back to flip his bacon.

“Well I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t”. I smiled placing the now creased note on the counter he now came closer to suspect the note.  He laughed and looked up at me.

“Permission granted! Eye, I suppose I should get you some coffee”. He said with an accent which made me laugh.

Minutes later I stepped out of the Kitchens with a nice fresh mug of coffee, heading back towards my room. I decided not to go to the interactive for several reasons. First one being I don’t really think it would be beneficial towards me, second point would be that the interactive coach seems to be a jerk and I certainly don’t need one of them coming back into my life. The reason for my decision would be that I can’t be bothered to socialise today. I know it sounds selfish but I suppose I’m having one of those days were I feel tiresome and pathetic. On days like this I tend to avoid everyone at all costs even if it means hiding in a closet with my pyjamas. So that’s today’s plan; be invisible.

Hiding isn’t impossible for me seen as that’s what I did before and then I got caught in the heat of the moment. I suppose it must’ve been hard for my mother to see me the way I was because honestly I never meant for it to happen. It just did. Every reason for not doing the things I did never occurred to me until I got caught and sent here. Thinking back on everything I did I suppose it was all for a reason, or maybe I wanted to test out if I was really a lifeless stone.