I'd never given much thought of my future. It freaked me out too much. I hated the idea of growing up, growing old. I feared that there'd be nothing awaiting me in the future. No money, no love, no goals to accomplish. I feared I'd be left with nothing. I still do fear these things. I never thought about my future until I met him, Tate Miller. He was different somehow. He is indescribable. I remember the first time I saw him. In my world, there was no such thing has love at first sight until then. He was exiting a starbucks just as I happened to walk by. I don't think he saw me. He was tall, masculine. He had light brown hair, pale skin, blue eyes. He looked like an angel... He was an angel. In that simple moment, my future had magically formed. I was already imagining myself walking down the aisle. As he turned the corner, disappearing for what I was sure to be forever, I was brought back to reality. The lonesome reality I lived in. My immediate response was to tell my bestfriend, Gordy. She sorts out my emotions and thoughts when I can't.
As we sit on the balcony of her apartment, I describe my angel to her. She hasn't seen him yet, but she smiles as if in love. It was impossible not to be. "Wait, I think I know this man," she says. I feel my heart tighten with hope and fear. I want him, but I wasn't prepared to actually meet him. Gordy steps into the sunlight, allowing her skin to glow. I sip coffee from my mug as she invites me to a family dinner. I, without thinking, accept. It was better than eating alone. "It's tonight, at my parents' house. I'll pick you up," she says. I nod, agreeing. Gordy sits down opposite me. The smile on her face was long gone, no trace of existence. "How's Jonah?" I ask. Jonah's her boyfriend. He's cruel and abused alcohol often. They were happy at first, enough to make me jealous which almost never happened. But in the last couple of weeks, they've been having problems. Jonah rarely came home, became secretive. Gordy hasn't admitted it, but I think he had been abusing her, physically. "Dana, I need to tell you something," Gordy says. Her voice shaky, scared.
I follow her to her bedroom. It's a mess, like usual. Gordy doesn't know how to clean. She didn't wish to learn, either. She reaches into her drawer, pulling out a photograph. She hands it to me, but I can't make out what it is. It's black and grey, with a little bean-like thing in it. "I'm pregnant. Jonah knows and he left," she chockes, holding back her tears. I hand the photo back to her. "I want to get rid of it, but I don't have money. The only reason I'm going to this stupid family dinner is to ask my dad for some money," she cries. I open my arms to her, offering a hug. She accepts. She cries into my shoulder. Her fear is contagious. I am scared for her. She can barely feed herself, and it is visible too. She is nothing but bones. I would helped, if I could. But I was about to be evicted. She releases me, still crying. "My family doesn't know. Please don't tell them," she begs. She knows me better than anyone else. She didn't have to beg. I learnt my lesson the first time she was pregnant. I was fourteen, she sixteen, and I accidently told her sister, Martin, whom had a big mouth. Her dad paid for an abortion, but he also beat her for him, breaking a few ribs. That was how I learnt to keep a secret.
I decide to go home, prepare for the dinner. Thinking about it, I realise why Gordy wanted me there. She wants support. A witness. I decide to wear a short black dress that hugs my curves. Well, it wasn't really a choice since this is the only formal dress I have. Red stilettos and natural-looking make-up go with it. I pin my velvet-red hair into one giant knot, but it looks good. The Robinson's are all about appearances. Personality means nothing to them. My phone rings, Gordy's caller ID appears. I ignore it, placing my phone into my pruse. I head downstairs to find a taxi waiting for me. I slide in, next to Gordy. She grabs for my hand, squeezing it with fear. I squeeze in return, assuringly. We spend the twenty minutes in silence. Both of us too scared to talk. When we arrive, hundreds of people are scattered everywhere. "I thought it was just a family dinner?" I ask. Gordy frowns, watching people pass the taxi. "My mom said it was," she whispers. We both know her mother well enough to know that this is her idea of a family dinner.
"Darling, you came?" Gordy's mother greets. She give Gordy a distant hug, then gives me a distant hug also. "Of course, Ma," Gordy replies, using the sweet-girl tone she only uses with her family. Gordy feels the need to transform for her family, especially her parents. She isn't herself around them. She pretends to be the sweet eight-year-old daughter they once had. It iss like she isn't allowed to grow up, have a life of her own. Gordy's mother walks away, ignoring us. "I brought you here to introduce you to someone," Gordy whispers in my ear. I smirk at her, confused. "I thought you wanted me here for moral support?" I whisper. She flashes a cheeky grin, which makes me feel queasy. That is her up-to-no-good smile. It either lands us in jail or passed out close to the boarder. "Remember that guy?" she asks, slowly walking away from me. I suck on my lower lip, trying to think of who she was talking about. Was she talking about the guy I saw earlier today? The guy she thinks she knows? As if she can read my mind, she nods before disappearing into the crowd. "Gordy," I shout as I follow.
I find her in the middle of the room, scanning the crowd. "Is that him?" she asks, pointing to a man. My heart stops for a moment. It is. There he was. So close. I feel my blood boiling. "His name is Tate Miller," she informs. She shoves me closer to him. When I refuse to move any closer, she drags me. "Tate," she squeaks. She stands up on her toes to kiss his cheek. He has to bend down to kiss hers. "Haven't seen you for awhile," he says. His voice is sweet, but husky. They both look at me expectantly. His eyes and smile both light up at the sight of me. I'm speechless, which seems like such a childish response. "This is Dana," Gordy introduces me. He reaches his hand out to greet me. I reluctantly take it. His skin is warm. "Hello," he says. I smirk in response. I still don't have the ability to speak. I yank my hand out of his grip. He seems to notice my hostility, but he doesn't make a deal out of it. "Let's get a drink, shall we?" Tate says. Gordy stops him, then looks at me. "Dana isn't old enough to drink," Gordy says. Her words remind me of our age difference. "Really? How old are you?" Tate asks. I blush at Gordy. Part of me wants to lie, but i'm a bad liar. "I'm nineteen," I say, honestly. Tate turns around, grabs three glasses from a tray held by a waitor. "You look old enough to me. Who's gonna know?" he says, handing me a glass.
