Tonight I lay here, next to him. I think about what has happened over the past few months and try to forget as much of it as I can. I just want to play make-believe for a second, and pretend my life is not falling apart.
As I try to forget it all it pops back into my head. The departure, the suit and tie, and the notebook. It was supposed to be a day just like the rest of them. Go to school, do my work and enjoy the time I have with friends, then come home. This day was so different. He arrived back in his suit and tie with three tall sorrow-looking women. It was clear they were all here to deliver something I did not ask for.
As we sat there listening to the words coming out of their mouths he just sat there trying not to cry. He looked up at us all as they finished talking. Although they had finished talking my mind was still yelling at me. My stomach had started tying up knots I would never be able to undo, and my throat was as dry as the drought of anesthesia after hours of operation and intubation products. My whole body went paralyzed as my mind went from yelling to whispering, in an endless cycle. What the voices said to me what so satanic I could not force myself to say them out loud.
Fast forward to today, I lay with him. My head slowly lowering and raising on his stomach as he was falling asleep. I think about the years that had passed and the months that have recently changed my life again. Although his suit and tie cause the voices to lose control in my brain, he saved my life.
He took my hand in his as I pulled on the individual strands of my hair. He squeezed tight and lowers his head back down to rest again. My right eye twitches and releases a single tear that drops to the corner of my mouth. I taste it and remember that nothing lasts forever.
