~Chapter 1~

822 21 0
                                        

I woke up in an unfamiliar setting. Instead of a prim and properly taken care of apartment, I was in a scummy New York shithole. Dimly lit, reeking of god knows what. How I ended up here, I had a vague idea. I had finished filming an episode of my tv show, and I headed to a club with my friends in which I shared said show. With the fame that comes with being on tv 24/7, women are always of access. So is alcohol, and tons of other things. Drugs. I had never really done them. The hardest thing I had done was maybe weed once or twice in my teens, which I didn't understand the appeal of. But now, at the tender age of 41, things ached.

Is this the best age to start doing drugs? No. There is no "best age" to start doing drugs. However, in my youth, I'm sure I could handle some Vicodin and pot a bit more than my now rough and ragged self.

I do it because I have no other void. No other place or way to vent, no other way to just...let it go. To forget and ignore and say fuck it. And if I take a small pill, or smoke a little joint, it soothes my soul, and fills in the deep, multilayered cracks of sorrow with the hot, oozing idea that I don't have to be an adult. I don't have to be Brian for this hour. In this club bathroom, in my disheveled bed, in my mind. I don't have to be me.

I Can ChangeStories to obsess over. Discover now