Contest Book

Looking Back

I was going through all our old things when I found it. The picture of the day where everything started. After this picture was taken, true happiness began to enter my life, you could even say, the moment this picture was taken, was the moment my life actually began.

I'm in the middle of the picture. Old forgotten friends surround me, all forgotten except a few. A silly grin is plastered on my face as my best friend, Jake, is back hugging me. I smiled as I thought back to the day of the party, I may have forgotten the names of the people in that photo but I will never forget what happened and the decision I made. I tried to visualize that happy moment, the party's music, the cold summer breeze, the buzz from drinking liquor and Jake's strong arms pulling me into his chest, when all the sudden, I blacked out.

~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes fluttered open, my head was throbbing and everything around me was spinning. Loud music was blasting, worsening the pain in my head but I tried to get myself to sit up. Slowly, the room stopped spinning and instead of feeling relieved that I could finally see where I was, I almost had a heart attack.

The house was crammed with people, paper cups and plates were all over the place and the lights were off with just flashlights lighting up the room, but nonetheless I still recognized it...I was in my old house, the house I grew up in with my parents. How did I get here? Why am I on the floor? Why are there so many people here and why, are the lights off?

I tried standing up off the floor and that's when I noticed what I was wearing...a short, orange summer dress. This...It can't be! I had this dress when I was in high school! I looked around extremely confused, trying to figure out what was going on but the music that was practically shaking my parents house was refraining me from thinking clearly . I rushed outside to the patio, squeezing through dozens of sweaty body's, when I finally made it out there...I was so close to having my second heart attack for the night.

"Jake?", I squeaked

"Sammy!", my best friend ran up to me and engulfed me in a hug. I stood as still as a statue in shock. How is he....? And he's so... young...

"Sammy? You okay?", Jake pulled away and tried to shake me out of my stupor. I hummed in response, not being able to speak due to the lump in my throat. Tears should have been streaming down my face at the sight of him, but I was too shocked to shed even one.

Jake took my hand and dragged me away from the house to the pool, where there were just a few people, most of them hooking up shamelessly.

"Sammy...I need to ask you something....", Jake started, his face flushed slightly. I know this...I've been through this before...

"Sammy? Look there is no other way to say this...I like you...m-more than a f-friend. I've actually liked you for a while now...ever since we were in the third grade...Will you be my girlfriend?", he searched my eyes.

I know what is happening now...but it makes no sense. I've somehow, magically, been transported back to my high school end of year party. The same party, where my husband first asked me out. Too many thoughts were running through my mind, I couldn't sort them out.

"Sammy? Did you hear me? Say something please?", he looked at me both concerned and nervous as he waved his hand in front of my face.

"J-Jake...", I stuttered. I love him and I should say yes, but... I know what happens in the future... Tears formed in my eyes, threatening to spill. Jake noticed and put his arms around me, shushing me, in an attempt to calm me down.

"You don't have to cry Sam...I understand...It's okay.", he rubbed my back but I pushed him away. Sadness and disappointment were written all over his face, what must have been the start of a broken heart.

"No, Jake. I love you!", I blurted out without thinking and his face contorted with surprise, only to be replaced by a massive smile.

"But... I can't be your...g-girlfriend", I managed to say...but it was incredibly hard to. I ran away.

I ran and ran, all the way to the park three blocks away from my parents house. I fell on to my knees and let out all the tears that were begging to fall and create rivers. This wasn't heart break...it felt like my heart was being ripped apart and shredded. My head ached from all the crying and my body felt numb. There was a slight stinging coming from my knees due to my harsh fall but other than that, nothing helped lessen the agonizing pain coming from my chest.

I did the right thing...

I stopped myself from having a future with my soulmate...

The world is so unbelievably cruel...

I ruined my only chance at happiness for one reason...

So he could live.

The past I remembered, it was full of love and joyful moments, up until a certain point. Jake and I, we dated, we fell deeper and deeper in love, we grew up together but never grew apart. We were soulmates, we got married, we had two kids. Everything was perfect...but one day...my life got flipped upside down.

Jake was driving home with our three year old twins, when they got into an accident. Both of our kids were fatally injured and Jake fell into a coma. I practically lived in the hospital from then on...

He was in a coma for three years until his heart finally gave out.

Jake had been rushing home because of me...because I had to leave for some stupid reason and I was in a hurry and needed the car.

When Jake asked me tonight for the second time, to be his girlfriend...I couldn't help but think if...

If we never...

Would he still be alive?

Then I blacked out for the second time.

~~~~~~~~

I tried to open my eyes, but it was as if someone was shining a flashlight directly on to my face. I shielded my eyes and slowly got acquainted with my surroundings.

I was in a park, laying down on a pick nick sheet. The sun was shining brightly, the birds were singing and children were laughing. Someone was laying next to me, it was my brother. He looks a lot older then 20 which he should be if I am still in the past...if that was real...so I have to be back in the present now...but which present? The one I knew or a new one?

I gently shook him awake.

"What?", he groaned

"Where are we?", I asked

"Woodrow Park...where else?", he huffed annoyed and sat up.

"What's the date?"

"Umm, Monday 16 May 2015, why?"

"Wh-Where's Jake?", I stuttered

"Jake? Jake, you best friend from high school?", he was now completely confused.

"Yeah..."

"I don't know...Why? How did you even think of him now?"

"Umm...no matter...go back to napping..."

It must have worked, I need to check. I took out my phone and searched through my contacts and found his home phone number.

It rung five times until someone picked up...

"Hello?", a female voice asked, slightly giggling.

"Hello...is this Jake McConnell's phone?", I flinched at the sound of her voice

"Yes, who is asking?", she giggled again, "Jake stop! I'm on the phone..."

"Can I talk to him?", I said in a low whisper

"Sorry! I have to take care of my wife! Bye!", I heard Jake shout and the line dropped.

My phone fell out of my hands...

My body entirely paralyzed...his voice rang in my head

"Wife."

After everything I've been through... I swear... I can never again fall in love...For I no longer have a heart to give.

~~~~~~~