eden ➡ james f. potter

09: end credits.

You deserve what I couldn't give to you; what I wish I could have given to you.

Now, please. I am begging you, please do not beat yourself up about this. When I think about it, there was nothing you could have done to change what had to happen. But, in a way, you did.

You changed me in ways unimaginable.

You let me think there was more beyond what my parents wanted, you let me think that a world of good was possible.

You let me know love, something that I would have never known otherwise.

At this point, I feel like I should close off the letter.

Before I do, I ask one more thing of you.

After reading this letter, I would have preferred that you burn it so that all traces of me would be erased but in the event that that proves to be too hard for you to do, hide it as best as possible. No one can know that I have sent this to you because that would make you liable for questioning about Elliot and I's disappearance.

(I went to him before I left and we talked things over, he agreed to come with me so that I could hide him and keep him safe. Another reason why I had to leave: to ensure the safety and well-being of my best friend, something that I'm sure you will understand).

Thank you, Potter.

Thank you for showing that things could be different. Hopefully, in another life, I'll be brave enough to stay by your side. I'll be a Gryffindor and not a Slytherin; I'll be a part of your world and not just a pawn in this war.

I've never known what love is; never felt what love is.

But whatever I feel towards you is pretty darn close.

With all the best,

C.L.

p.s. For Regulus' party, the concoction you drank that you called 'firewhiskey' was a mixture of firewhiskey and different potions to give you different feelings. I believe that Snape brewed liquid luck for the occasion but I could be wrong.

THERE WAS NOTHING, NEITHER WORD NOR PHRASE NOR PARAGRAPH, that could describe what James was feeling in that moment. As he had finished reading the letter for the second time (because he had to read it twice, to make sure his eyes were not deceiving him), the paper fell from his grip as he froze, his chest tightening and breathing becoming labored.

"Prongs," Sirius said, resting his hand on the boy's shoulder, "Are you alright?"

The Marauders looked at their friend in worry, Sirius and Remus with looks of confusion on their faces while Peter grimaced at the sight of James.

As for James, his world spun and spun. Though he was sitting, he felt like he was experiencing a bad case of vertigo as everything around him felt off-balance.

For the first time in a long time, James had woken up that morning and felt pretty good about himself. After months of hurting, he had finally gotten the girl. When he sat up, shaking the traces of sleep out of his head, there was a moment of panic as Cecilia was not there.

She's a Slytherin, you dolt, he thought, She's probably gone to her dorm to clean up for breakfast.

So James got ready as usual, humming and whistling while he put on his clothes, as he believed that when he went down for breakfast, Cecilia would be there too.

The rest of the Marauders awoke soon after James had, the three boys watching their friend in awe. The group got ready together and left as one whole, something they hadn't done since January.