• not very good at goodbyes • sad!stucky oneshot

• not very good at goodbyes •

"I promise, Sam says this is probably the last mission for a while anyway."
Bucky sighs, "I know, you're right. I just hate that this is the first mission we haven't been on together. Not that I think you need me that, God no, I mean, look at you! You can clearly take care of yourself-"
"Buck, stop. Look at me. You'll be fine. I'll be fine. Coupla days, I'll be home again, with you."
"Yeah, yeah... Okay. I love you."
"I love you too."
Steve moves to connect his lips with Bucky's in a sweet, passion filled kiss. They pull away reluctantly, Steve running straight to the jet - he's never been that brilliant with goodbyes.
He can't help but return the sad smile Bucky wears, waving half-heartedly to his injured boyfriend.
The mission they'd been on a week or so ago had been pretty heavy, everyone sustained some injures. Bucky's was the worst though, a couple of broken ribs and his (non-mechanical) wrist was broken.
Despite Bucky's dramatic protests, the whole team had decided it would be best he sit this one out. No one ever knows the details of what will happen on a mission, and Steve couldn't loose Bucky one more time, not like that, not for good.
Soon, Bucky is but a mere dot on the ground to Steve and the blonde man turns with a sigh.
"Come on, Steve," Sam calls. "Gonna go over the plan."
"Coming," Steve says. He takes one last longing glance out the window before following Sam to where the rest of the team awaited.
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It had only been a couple of hours since Steve's departure, yet Bucky couldn't seem to shake the achy feeling that had settled in his heart.
After he had come out of the ice (again), everything was sort of surreal. They found a way to get rid of the shitty memories, and somehow still leave majority of the nice memories.
Everything was sort of a blur after they let him out of recovery in Wakanda. Moving in with Steve, reigniting their friendship, pretty much falling in love all over again, the slow transition from friends to more almost being painful, considering how long they'd both been waiting. But it was worth it. Going slow meant that Bucky worried about things a lot less. And when Bucky worried less, Steve worried less too.
Bucky padded into the kitchen, retrieving his favourite mug, a teabag, some milk and the kettle. He filled the kettle with water, began boiling it and waited. He dropped the teabag in his mug, got a teaspoon and then heard the ding, signalling the water was done boiling.
He poured his preferred amount in and began stirring, slowly adding the milk.
When he was satisfied with his drink, Bucky made his way back to the couch and sat down. In all honesty, he didn't know what to do with himself. Well, he supposed, all he could do was sit here, sit here and pray that his Steve came back unharmed.
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The mission was not going well. The whole team had been more than split up - they were in all in different buildings, for Christ sakes!
Nothing was going to plan, all communication earpieces had been cut off and Steve had little to no idea where he was. There were several guys surrounding him, he'd dropped his shield somewhere a while back and, to top it all off, he had a rather large cut on his left leg, a cut that he could feel himself rapidly loosing blood from.
He managed to sloppily fight off most of the men circling him, thinking he had knocked them all out, he turned to go back for his shield, instead coming face to face with one of the big guys from before.
"Damnit," he muttered, feeling himself getting dizzy and light headed.
"Jestem szczęsciarzem. Będę jednym z tych, którzy pokonają wielkiego i potężnego Captain America!" The man spoke in a language Steve didn't recognise, Polish if he had to guess.
He knew if he moved now he'd loose his balance and fall, so he stood still, swaying slightly, while the other guy withdrew a knife.
"Please..." Steve whispered.
The man approached him with the knife, inching closer and closer. The cold metal made contact with Steve's shoulder and arm, a huge gash opening.
Steve's scream was quieter than he had expected, and incredibly  strangled as he fell to the ground. The man, assuming his job was done, had already walked off. Steve's shield appeared to have gone with him.
Steve whimpered, feeling blood pour out of his fresh wound. He was dying.
Reaching around blindly in the pockets of his suit, Steve found what he was looking for - his mobile phone.
He flicked through his contacts, not having to look far before he found the one he wanted. Bucky, he had to call Bucky.
"Steve," Bucky picked up right away and beamed at Steve, making Steve's heart ache even more than it already did. He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell him what was happening.
"How're you doing?" Steve asks.
"..."
"Buck?"
"Steve? What's wrong?"
"What? Nothing, nothing's wrong, no. I'm fine. Are you fine?"
"Steve," Bucky's tone grew hard and serious. "Tell me."
"Look, Buck-"
"No, Steve! You tell me what's wrong! Now!"
Steve could hear the worry in Bucky's voice, laced with the angry tone tried to hide his worry with.
Steve couldn't tell Bucky he was dying. But he couldn't not tell him either.
"Bucky. All my communications have been cut off. I'm in a building, on my own. Multiple injuries, loosing blood..." Steve's vision began blurring, a ringing in his ears.
"Oh God! Steve, Stevie, oh my God. You're gonna be okay. Someone will come and find you in a minute. You'll be okay. You'll be fine. You're not gonna- You won't-" Bucky choked out.
"I'm sorry, Bucky. I'm so sorry," Steve winced. "But I think this is... No ones coming for me. I think this is goodbye."
"No, no, Steve. Don't you fucking dare say that. No, never."
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I suck at goodbyes."
"No, please, please. I'll come and find you. You're not dying, Steve."
"It would be too late, and you'd be in danger. Too risky."
"I don't care! I love you. I can't- I don't want to live without you!"
"James Buchanan Barnes, you listen to me now. I love you. You're an incredible person. So much of your life was taken away from you- and that's unfair. So, do me one thing. Go, live your life. Do things you've always wanted to. Be extraordinary."
"Steve," Bucky sobbed. "Okay."
"One more thing."
"Yes, anything. Anything for you, Stevie. Always."
"Tell me how to say goodbye."
There was a long silence on the line.
"Say it like you're going to see me again."
"Okay," Steve chuckled, an action he quickly regretted as it turned into a painful cough. "'Til the next time, jerk."
"Seeya round, punk."
"I love you, jerk."
"I love you too, Steve."
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So, how was that? This wasn't, per say, my first time writing Stucky, but it was my first time posting something I'd written about Stucky.
I'm in quite a sucky mood today, so I kinda needed to get it out in some writing. So, apologies if this tugged at your heart strings a bit.
I'd like to write some more Stucky in the future, but I'd like to hear some opinions on this first.
Oh, and any of you who read my Breaking and Entering fic, I'm so sorry! Oh my god, I promised you that new chapter like a month ago. I'm such a knob. It's like half written and unedited. But give me some time and inspiration, and I promise you'll get your fill soon. 
Also, one more thing, I've been feeling incredibly uninspired recently, as we all do at times. But I found this really awesome account @SeraphStarshine
I binge read a load of their stuff and it's all fucking amazing. So, I know you don't know me and this is kind of weird, but thank you for being my inspiration for today.
Anyway, have a lovely day/night/morning/afternoon/evening! Stay happy, stay safe.
- Ms Author x