Hanging by a Moment [Completed]

Fall to Pieces

Maybe I’ll be able to fix this mess I’ve created.

I’ve screwed it up, I know I have. And Peyton’s probably freaking out over it, and – the tears were flowing freely again, being washed away with the water as soon as they formed.

“Hey.” Peyton’s hand on my shoulder made me stop.

He was standing beside me with a glass of water.

So that’s why he went. I flushed guiltily at the assumption I’d made, cringing internally once again. He was still being a good friend.

I accepted the glass. “Thanks.”

He nudged for me to drink, and I obliged, after which, “Feeling better?”

There’s no need to mess up his evening even more. I nodded.

*

We stood in silence for eons, it felt like, every moment passed weighing heavily down on me. Eventually I decided that I’d rather face the consequences than stand there, staring at him. His expressions had been emotionless, expectant at the most, his eyes questioning, intensifying my guilt. I’d messed everything up, I was certain. He hadn’t lost his composure, but he could only keep it up for so long. I mean, I had just admitted to being in love with him…sort of. “I’m sorry.”

His surprised reaction was unexpected. “What for?”

“I-I’m ruining your night.” I stammered, “First I spring this onto you, and make a mess and then you have to, you know, be here babysitting me when you could be having fun and,” my voice was barely audible, “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t say anything.

I shifted. “Look, I didn’t want you to know, alright? It’s just an unfortunate coincidence-”

“How long?” he interrupted suddenly.

“Huh?”

“How long have you, you know, had a thing for me?”

I flushed. “Oh, um, a while.” My face was heating up again. “Um, there was this time that Sarah accused us of you know, being gay and stuff, and then she said some other stuff and I sort of started crushing on you after that…”

“I wasn’t really asking, but eh, good to know.”

I stared at my best friend. He was smiling. Was he making fun of me?

Whatever he could make of my expression in the semi-darkness must have alerted him about where my thoughts were leading to, because he went on quickly to ask another question. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was scared.” I bit my lip and looked to the floor. “Still am.”

“Of what, though?”

Incredible.

That’s what it was. How could he seriously be asking? Did he really not think it was a possibility? I stole a quick look at him before returning my gaze to my shoes, frowning. The concern, and confusion on his face weren’t false though. “You know, how you’d react. I mean, aren’t you weirded out already?” I swallowed. “And now we’ll slowly drift away and I’ll lose-lose you.”

“Jayden, I’m not going anywhere.” He said each word slowly, like I was a kid or something.

“So you don’t hate me?”

“’Course not, you’re my best friend.”

I took a chance. “Even if I’m ruining your date?”